This Life-long Journey

نهديك سلاما يا جزائر

2012-01-15T18:00:00.002+08:00

Abd El-Kader Ben Muhieddine

Tariq ibn Ziyad

نهديك سلاما يا جزائر ***من شعب فلسطين الثائر
القدس انتفضت آسـادا تكمل دربك عبدالقادر

و لجبل الزيتون نداء*** جلل في الاوراس صداه
احفاد بن زياد جاؤوا *** كي تمحى عن الأقصى الآه

شيخ مشلول يتحدى *** أكوذبة جيش لا يقهر
و جنود الباغي تتردى *** من صوت الطفل إذا كبر

حجر في الكف و مقلاع*** قد حطم جيش الأحزاب
و في ارض فلسطين سباع *** ستزلزل صرح الارهاب

I thought of this nasheed all of a sudden.

FAITH

2012-01-14T11:39:00.003+08:00

الليل ولى لـــــن يعود وجاء دورك يا صباح

وسفينة الإيمـــان سارت لا تبالي بالرياح

White is Pure

2012-01-10T17:57:00.002+08:00

The sight of you increases my faith

The thought of you tranquils my heart

The prayer of you raises my hope

The moment you have known, the moment I have known

May you are always be with Allah's grace.

The exaggerated fear

2011-12-04T12:10:00.001+08:00

Following the elections Tunisia, Morocco, and still a on-going election in Egypt, it heralds a rise of political Islam. Fears are surmounting that Islamists rise to power looms a radicalisation and Islamisation of the region. These are sometimes expressed by the liberal and secularist who are in total opposite ideology of the Islamists.

To me, this fear of the rise of political Islam is too much exaggerated. This brings us down to the fact on how we understand the concept, Islamist or Islamism and from which sources that shaped our understanding and perception. Definition of the terms is very crucial in this sense. First and foremost, Islam"IST" is coined by the west. When we try to read western literature on this,more often than not, they associated with negative connotations like violence, terrorism and the like. They most of the time parallel it with "jihadist", another concept termed by the west with the same unfavourable connotations.

Islamists should be understood by the fact that this has a wide spectrum and not a monolithic entity. You cannot apply one perception to all Islamists. There are radical Islamists and mainstream Islamists. For the latter such as Annahda and the Muslim Brotherhood, they have been through political evolution. This attests to the announcement of the Annahda leader Ghannouchi when it regards to the secularist nature of the Tunisian society and Muslim Brotherhood's declaration of its commitment to democratic credentials.

For the fear-monger, there is no other choice but to welcome the emergence of political Islam. This is the by-product of the so called "democracy" which you are championing. The ballot boxes are not always to be in favor of your side. After all, this is a chess-game. Either you win or you lose. Above all, divine intervention is inevitable and you cannot contest with it. For the minds programmed by the fear-monger, there is a need for comprehensive understanding of the ideological foundation of these Islamists both radical and mainstream before casting fear. Also, it is imperative to know their historical experiences under repressive regimes to understand why they have become radical. There is always a reaction to stimulus and as saying goes "When there is a smoke, there is a fire".

NONO SMILE

2011-11-24T12:49:00.001+08:00

That's NONO smiling. It really lightens up my day looking at it.
MishyowMishyow Nono.

His name is Mohammad Qassem. He is named after my Baba (Rahimahulla). (I pray that he will be like my baba, Ameen)
Where on earth did NONO emerge from? OK. That was the first word uttered by his brother Hamoud upon seeing him. A day after nono's birth.

NONO was taken from Nasheed al-atfal we often listened to inside our car. This is our family tradition. we listened to Nasheed while traveling. a sound effect ;)

CURVYBONDING

2011-11-18T17:00:00.001+08:00

The Curve= The Jumpers. 16 November, 2011= Feza's day. I know she won't like to remind her for that day like I do. Yet, I did enjoy this night very much. I dunno whenever I went to the CURVE, it is always equevalent to JUMPERS and M.A. life.

After for almost hmmm,, 2years? I realized after hanging out with them especially Fie and Nana that many things have changed. I miss those moments together. Thanks for AKP coz it still sticks us together. This time its the 3 Musketeers according to Prof. Moten.

I miss u fellas. Allah bless us all.

My Nono

2011-11-12T00:49:00.001+08:00

I so miss you my Nono.
I miss the moment you gave natural bliss.
I miss carrying and cuddling you.
My nono.='(

TUNISIA: its democratic election after Ben Ali

2011-10-25T16:20:00.004+08:00

23 October 2011: Tunisian historic election after the deposed Ben Ali.
24 October 2011: Nahda (rennaiscance) Party claims 30 percent of the votes which makes them a ruling party.

I always maintain my view and argue that the Arab spring was not actually orchestrated by the West. My stance may not be necessarily true but I hold on to it 6o to 70 percent. Why? Why would US take measure clandestinely to depose Ben Ali and Hosni Mubrak where in fact they serve the US interest in the region? Their interests in Middle east are better served under authoritarian regime. Why would they concert effort to democratize the middle east whereby they fear the rise of Islamists? Thier rhetoric on democratization was a mere justification to advance their interest. If the region will be purely democratized, then it will provide a vacuum for the Islamist forces to rise which they foresee as a worst scenario.

The victory of Nahda party led by Rached Ghannouchi who was in exile for more than twenty since the time of Pres. Habib Bourguiba threatens the US and Israel. Ghannouchi was thrown out from Tunisia because of his political aspirations. The 23 October was very momentous for the future of Tunisia and the rest of the Arab world. However, this is the fact that we need not to forget. US has a strategic political and economic interests in the region. They will never abandon the Middle east politics because of its Oil and its commitment to the security of Israel. of course, US will continue to play the game of politics. Yes, it will re-adjust and re-position itself, it will reshape its foreign policy in the region but their National interest will always be the same. In addition, they will definitely build alliance with the Islamists as they ally with regime of Hosni Mubarak and Ben Ali which to me needs crucial and deliberate restraint. We need not forget that there is no permanent friend in politics. Take a look at the peak of Egyptian revolution, the closest ally of US in the Arab world was Hosni Mubarak. When people smashed him out, they had to lift their support and side with the protesters.

I may share the same concerns as others. Also, I share the same sentiment with majority of Tunisia who celebrate its democratic freedom and those who celebrate with the victory of Nahda party. But, extra precautions and vigilance should be rendered to avoid bad scenario. I once attended a forum on "Islamic perspective of peace among nations" by Abdul hamid Abu Sulayman in IIUM. I asked him on the direction of the Arab Spring and his reply was that we will wait for another next two witness how this political landscape of Middle east and North African countries will unfold.

So let's wait and see. Let's also pray for the right direction of the Arab spring. We should take a close look at the hijackers.

Allah Said: ''Or do you think that you shall enter the gardens of Bliss (al-Jannah) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They encountered suffering and adversity and they were shaken, that even the messenger and those who believed with him cried, When will come the help of Allah! And verily, the help of Allah is near!'' [TMQ 2:214]

Allah never breaks His promise. So long as we follow His path, His help is very near no matter how destructive is their plot.

Sunset_Mahallah view

2011-10-22T23:19:00.004+08:00

Taken at 6:50 PM over Mahallah Asiah's window while waiting for Domino's Pizza delivery with Hanna and Krung.

Im happy...Alhamdulillah....

2011-10-19T11:09:00.002+08:00

October 18, 2011.

A first round of release of the Palestinian prisoners as a swap of the release of Gilad Shalit.

The freed prisoners...Happy faces

A freed prisoner riding on horse to return home

The joy. The celebration. I share the feeling of elation.

A sign of victory

I'm moved.='(

I have goosebumps seeing the wave of their joy. This shows a strength and signinficance of the resistance group , Hamas. Long live Palestinians. Allahu Akbar!

I FOUND ONE

2011-09-27T09:58:00.004+08:00

Placing someone on pedestal is very expensive to me. Why? Because its hard to find role model nowadays. However, there are distinguished figures whom I take as examples. I don't necessarily follow them instantaneously but they are Muslim figures, religious scholar, religious leader intellectuals philosopher, who have influenced my thoughts, perspective, or maybe they don't influence me but their ideas or principles are similar to mine.

In terms of Muslim head of state, I had a hard time figuring out whom is better if not the best among them. Take a look at the Middle east, the outcry for freedom of Arabs is a result of authoritative, dictatorial and abuse of power.

Now, what I perceive to fill in the vacuum is no other the Turkish Prime Minister, Recep Tayyip Erdogan. It entails a long story why I choose him.

In summary, He is a modernist-Islamist-Activist who co-founded the Justice and Development Party. Because of his political and economic reforms he gained popularity among Turkish including Kurdish Minority which led him to third term in premiership. He bring Turkey into ascendancy to regional power. He stands for Muslims' cause especially Palestinian issue. His voice bear significance in the Arab Spring.

Fareed Zakaria described him in his GPS last episode as "he is maybe the new voice of the Middle East. He is economically dynamic, politically confident and geopolitically savvy.

Thomas Carolls remarked in his article " developed a keen understanding of when not to push his agenda" which to me, places him to where he is now.

He is the man.

Recep Tayyip Erdogan

Doubts on Palestinian Bid on Statehood

2011-09-25T11:43:00.000+08:00

Mahmod Abbas submitted his request forPalestinian statehood to U.N. Yesterday, September 23, 2011. PLOprompted to pass their bid to U.N. after 20 years of failed negotiations. TheQuartet plan; the United Nations, the United States, the European Union andRussia, has been a stalemate. The bid is to grant independence to Palestinianpeople which eventually comes down to viable next best option of upgrading theirstatus observer status into non-member state status like that of Vatican.

After Abbas speech, he received applause and some of the supporters inPalestine especially in the west bank were celebrating. It was momentous eventfor them. In addition, Abbas might have gained popularity from Palestinians.

To me, I place doubts on the positive outcome of PLO’s bid. Why?

1. U.S. is expected to veto it. Obama can convince some of the 15 non-permanentmembers to abstain. U.S. is committed to Israel’s security. What is then ‘SECURITY’for Israel? Whatever poses threat to their existence. Whatever they deem to bea threat. Security is defined by the Israeli government. They can play with theconcept.

2. In Obama’s speech, he said: “there’s no short-cut for peace”. Palestiniansmust engage in direct negotiations. What the heck is this negotiation? What hasbeen Quarter plan’s road map to peace has brought about? Continued Jewishillegal settlement? Demolition of Palestinian homes? Name them. Negotiation isa stalemate. It’s a game. It only prolongs the outcry of the Palestinians forstatehood and continues further the illegal settlement.

The same remarks said by Netanyahu after the speechof Abbas.

3. Palestinians are divided. The bid is not being supported by allPalestinians. HAMAS has been marginalized. The efforts for PLO-HAMAS unity hasbeen successfully prevented by the Israeli government when they said it theycannot negotiate with HAMAS. However, the latter is a significant political forcein the Palestine. They control the Gaza strip. They have a relativelyoverwhelming support of the Palestinians. They can influence the minds of some Palestiniansand even support outside the country. Hence, they cannot be isolated. Thisscenario reflects a deep division of Palestinian people. If I may quote IsmailHaniyeh, “Our Palestinian people do not beg for a state ...States are not built upon UN resolutions. States liberate their land andestablish their entities.”

4. Lastly, the TRUTH is that Israel will notallow Palestinian statehood. The documentary film the IRON WALL by Mohammad Alatar might help us to understand this.

LOVE.LOVE.LOVE

2011-09-22T12:51:00.002+08:00

Back on track

2011-09-20T11:14:00.003+08:00

Days have passed. Alhamdulillah!! everything is going back to normal. By Allah's grace, I just survived another trial of my life. recent months have been crucial moments to me. Crucial in a sense that I had to make my decision to what I am going to do with my life. It was indeed the hardest decision making point in my life so far. When options laid before you, that's the part when you think of the things what value most, what makes you happy as of the moment, and what you feel is THE CALLING.

I had been decisive since then. However, there were many step-backs I had to make. There were some considerations I had to put into account. Plus, there were emotional setbacks that almost lead to a halt in realizing what I am happy of doing to the extend of almost giving up. With Allah's guidance, things that seems so bleak were made clearer.

But Allah's test didn't stop there. When I seem to be all so ready, my physical strengths loomed wearying. I got ill two days before leaving. I lost my appetite. My strength was signaling to exhaustion. It seemed so odd coz I had just cleared medical consultation . But the time I went to see a doctor, she said I may have taken food that my system made to react. What was very hard was the night before leaving. I got so weak and questions pouring my head. How can I leave like this? How am I going to carry on when I got so weak? I don't even want to see concerned face and eyes more so when she said to me not to leave with that condition. I told Omi not to cast worries. Allah was just testing me how I much I going to hold on with this decision I made.

The toughest was the discomfort and the pain I had to go through while traveling from Marawi to CDO down to Manila. My head almost explode to its gruesome pain. My auntie, uncle and cousin has to carry my baggage coz I was so weak to handle my stuff. Despite of it all, I placed my faith in Allah. He will guide all the way and that He only tried my patience.

Here I am. I am back on track. I survived the bit of more trials await ahead. Alhamdulillah, even though I come to the brink of giving up, Allah guided me through. What point I am making here is"What leads to good things are difficult". "Tests are leading to what we want in life". Its like taking exam in the class as what my friend Hana mentioned in courtesy of Mufti Menks lecture that when you pass one exam, that leads to another difficult test. These series of tests lead to our goals. of course, let us not forget that our goal is all but seeking pleasure of Allah S.W.A

Gee!! I am here. I choose this. I need to stand firm on it. I need to cling on to this. I will do what I can do. Then, I leave the rest to Allah. I cannot predict what will unfold tomorrow but He knows what is best for us.

Alhmdulillah..

Another round of cake. Last meeting (08/09/11) with my closest and bestest friends. Thanks to them. They went to house instead when I couldn't make it to go out. Love u Ate Mitch, Ate Ints, Ashley and Najool. To Ashley, No cake for u when you made a shotgun decision to fly to Manila and down to Kuwait. Good luck to your life there.

Above All, I love Ommi...Nothing compares a mother 'sconcern.

THE FALL OF TRIPOLI

2011-09-07T17:34:00.001+08:00

On 24 August 2011, Libyan people took to thestreets chanting and celebrating the fall of Tripoli, the capital of Libya andthe stronghold of Qaddafi. While watching them in elation, there's was no waveof excitement in me about what the al-Jazeerah news channel revealed to me.Why? I was not happy on what has transpiring in the Libya. In fact, I was notfollowing in focus the Libyan. Unlike Egyptian revolution, I shared the samesentiment with the people of Egypt. In the case of Libya, there’s a sheerpessimism in me. Taken to the consideration what's happening on the ground, Ifeel dismayed about it.

There are two camps in the Libyan war or as theyterm now as revolution after the fall of Tripoli; Pro-government governmentversus Rebels (opposition) and NATO. The involvement of North Atlantic TreatyOrganization is what I am concerned about. The moment US together withthe European Union take measures on Libya, the moment they drafted the UNresolution 1973, I cast doubt on the internal political affairsof Libya. Why? The senior politicalanalyst of al-Jazeera, Marwan Bishara, pointed out that there's no such thingas HONORABLE INTERVENTION. States are after its interest. According to FareedZakaria, foreign policy is a matter of cost and benefit. This is a realistperspective which is now dominating states' foreign policy.

Who's to blame? To me, Libyan revolution is aresult of domino effect. Of course, I am not going to cast blame on the Libyanpeople. People rise up when there is dissatisfaction more so when there issuppression. There are evidences on suppression of the people inLibya. In Islamic perspective, the right to freedom of expression or the rightto criticize the government is inherent in Islam. We all know that Libya fallin this category whereby it suppressed the right of expression. I'm not goingto discuss further on Islamic perspective and evidences on theoppression on the Libyan's people wherein it requires wide-range ofdiscussion. Going back to it, I know that some may be angry or may disagreewith me but I blame Qaddafi in the very first place. It is true that he is theonly Arab leaders who challenge US like that of Chavez of Venezuela and Ahmadinejadof Iran though he is a socialist not an Islamist. However, UN and NATO will nottake measures if Qaddafi didn’t use forces to crackdown his peoplewhich cause thousands of lives according to some sources. He is a totalmegalomaniac who cannot afford to step down at the expense of the Libyanpeople. I always debate with my sister on my view on this but thiswhat I cling on. Could he have been stepped down, we will not witness thesefiascoes as worst as it is now. If we compare it with Egypt, situation signaledand even started to get worst but Mubarak stepped down in the end.

The way forward.

If we look at the NTC (National Transitional Council), it is a newly formedopposition. It is still premature. So, NATO’s influence is very much present.It cannot denied that there were many talks between NTC and US and otherEuropean states. In the very first place, it’s the NATO who supplies weaponries.However, the role of Turkey here is another factor to consider though it is amember of NATO. It released $200million of financial aid to NTC. From this, Turkey’s ascendancy to regional power and independence from US influenceprovide us sheer of optimism on Libyan affairs.

Let’s see and hope for better.

FAMILY MATTERS MOST

2011-09-05T20:59:00.002+08:00

I made this a year ago. I upload it now for a year of reuniting and another moment of reunion though Akhuya Nabil's family is in absentia. It's the season for leaving. It's the time for bidding goodbyes. Some fly to kuwait some fly to other place. 'til we meet again insha Allah. There are 3 principles we should always embrace: Ta'aruf, Tafahum and Takaful.

strains and misunderstandings are normal in family. Yet, so long as we embrace those principle, NO PROBLEMS can never overcome. Insha Allah.

-Mohammad Qassem Musanif Jr. is not included in video. He is the new blessing and new member of the family. My NONO..

I'll upload the video via blogspot too soon. The signal is darn slow.

TAWHID and SCIENCE by OSMAN BAKAR

2011-09-05T06:22:00.001+08:00

This is, in my own view, one of the magnum opus I ever read. At first, I thought this will only deliver intellectual enlightenment, but to my delight, it also conveys spiritual enlightenment as well. The author tries to convey the Muslim readers that Islam can still keep up with progress and development generated by the modern science by reviving the Islamic science and that the former has delivered physical development yet it is coupled with destruction of spiritual and ethical aspects. Then, religion or knowledge guided by tawhidic spirit cater solutions to these ethical issues and harmful aspects generated by modern science. This book is designed to motivate Muslims readers especially intellectuals to revive the glory that was left by their predecessors.
in order to bring the lost glory of the scientific and technological glory of the Ummah, the author posits that we need to indentify the major factors to the rise of the Islamic science and tecnnology so we can take inspiration from it and the major negative factors to its stagnation and decline to eliminate them if they are ever found in our contemporary times. According to author the major factor for the rise of the Ummah are the following:

1. The role of religious consciousness as a motivating force for the quest of science and technology.
2. Faithfulness to the Shari’ah inspires the study of various sciences.
3. The birth and rise of great translation movements that lasted for several centuries.
4. The flowering of philosophy that is dedicated to scientific learning, progress, and advancement.
5. Widespread patronization of scientific and technological activities by rulers and wazirs.
6. The existence of healthy intellectual climate as illustrated by the fact that scholars of different thought.
7. The important role played by educational and scientific institutions, especially with the rise of universities.
8. The equilibrium attained between the major intellectual perspectives of Islam.

For the negative factors that contributed to the decline can be attributed to internal and external factors that led to the gradual disappearance of the positive factors mentioned above. Examples of these internal and external factors are lack of patronization of science, political corruption, internal strife, the rise of religious legalism and sectarianism, the neglect of the inner dimension of knowledge in the religion, and untold destruction at the hands of the Mongols.

In addition to the negative factors, there are other factors I deemed to be contributing to the stagnant status of the Ummah today is the lack of commitment, with some exceptions, of the scholars to its contributions to the uplift of the status of nation. What I mean here commitment is sincerity that which Islam is the true motivating force and that Allah is an inspiration for their quest. Some Muslim scholars are engaged in intellectual discourse for the sake of their intellectual race. On the other hand, others are indulged in debate. They argue for the sake of argument. They argue because of their egoistic tendencies. It is true that there were some intellectual debates during our predecessors like that of encounter between al-Ghazali and Ibn Rushd but they were sincere, honest and devout Muslims. Both have contributed to the intellectual culture of Islam. Their encounter is for the mere sake of contributing of Islam that we take benefit from it until now. Sadly, this is rarely found in our times. As mentioned above, religion is the lasting motivating force. Then, mindfulness to God is the effective force. If we have these forces, only then we can become sincere and honest to our responsibilities as outline above by the author.

NOTE: If you want to view the whole review, click here.

FRIDAY: Noorossayr

2011-09-03T22:51:00.000+08:00

Yummy Choco

@ MSU on its celebration of 50the Jubilee anniverasary. (Take note) All of us are MSUans.

Pathway leads to College of Engineering @ MSU

Taken during Tarbiyyah Conference. Behind Ma'had Kuwait

FRIDAY, September 02, 2011: Thanks to ‘Norossayr’. They unexpectedlymade my last liqa with them a special and remarkable one. Many thanks also toour Abla. She has been our guide in our spiritual and moral gain. Yet, she’sbeen very cool to us. She can stomach our silliness and wackiness. She hasnever been so harsh in dealing with us.

When I was given a privilege to speak yesterday, I haven’t expressed my totalgratefulness by their surprise. I was in awe even up to now. I just can’t putthem into words. Beside the food they brought, I was touched by their messages.Thanks to them. Thanks to the green stuff they put on. Thanks to their message,their prayers.

May Allah bless us all. May Allah makeit easy for us reach our goals. May Allah make the name of our group ‘Norossayror Nor al-sayr’ manifest in our lives. May we be the light to this voyage. Iwill surely miss them. Insha Allah, one day we will be working together againfor nobler cause. May we be in the same sailing ship now and then.

I will surely miss you all.

MY EID AL-FITR-2011/1432

2011-09-02T07:43:00.000+08:00

At Isis for Eid Prayer. With Nabila, ate Ints, Okta, ate Nesren and Ashley

Kids at play in our hometown

Ready to rock and roll..

Go forward. Keep paddling man! (The river turned brown coz it's rainy seascon)

We were in race . Look!! Bunso fell out of the boat.

The fun is over!! Pose

There you go Dhadz..Her arrival!!

This is the busiestand happiest eid al-fitr since time immemorial. ahmm...let's put it this way,the happiest and busiest as far as my memory is concerned. As usual, weperformed our eid prayer at ISIS. Its a place where I can meet some of fellowbros and sis or shall I call them akhawat and shabab. The khatib was mygrandfather, Abu Annas. The khutbah was uplifting according to my okta.Honestly, I haven't grasped the whole deliverance of khutbah coz myhead was busy eyeing some of friends if they were there. Alhamdulillah, some ofthere were there and its great saying salam and embracing them with all yourheart like there is no plasticity. Let's not forget pictorial.:D

That was catching up with friends. After eid prayer, we rushed to our hometown. This is in fact our family tradition. We get together;enjoying the food and some short talks. However, what makes it momentous are the activities set in spontaneity. There were singing, games, and many more. This is indeed a real Muslim fiest, Farhatul eid.

After family-together, we drove to CDO. What's the plan?....Actually, my okta wanted experience and tried to insist on zip line (Dahilayan) adventure, on the other hand, ate Iba and my auntie Mema opt to go rafting. Yet, my campaign on rafting sank in them. I told them that ecstatic feeling in rafting is something cannot describe that you have to experience yourself to feel it. blah blah blah...You see? There you go. I was an awe that even my nephews and nieces joined the league. ASTIG. Alhamdulillah...They enjoyed it. Their experience was indescribable to the point of hearing their stories repeatedly. not THEIR but US. :D

What's the next agendum? Going to airport to pick my niece, Bahja, arriving from Kuwait.

That was hectic yet so much fun.

NO MORE!!

2011-08-22T20:52:00.000+08:00

As agreed with my friends, NO MORE FACEBOOK for remaining 10 days. Now, I just decided that NO MORE BLOGGING too.

Advance eid mubarak.

May Allah grant us true happiness and genuine peace of mind. May Allah accept our prayers and fasting. May Allah grant us HUMBLE heart. Save us from ARROGANCE, PRIDE and HYPOCRISY.
Let us avoid things and people that knock the door of these diseases of the heart.

Above all, May Allah save from His severe punishment. Ameen.

Allah bless us all.

ASHRUL AWAAKHIR

2011-08-22T12:52:00.000+08:00

Ramadhan enters the last phase which is the 3itqum min al-nnar.

The most blessed person in this world is to have caught the most blessed nightwhich is the laylatul qadr.

The happiest person in this world is to feel the nearness of Allah. It is feltin the heart.

The sweetest thing is the feeling of Iman, of having purified heart.

The most loved person is the one being loved by His creator.

May Allah make us amongst who have forgiven by Him.

May Allah save us from hell-fire.

May Allah make us amongst He loves.

Let us include our brothers and sisters in Islam in our Dua.

Rabbana Taqabbal minna Dua. Ya Rabb!! Innaka anta ssami3ul 3aleem.

Why do I read?

2011-08-18T20:55:00.003+08:00

"Why do I read?
I just can't help myself.
I read to learn and to grow, to laugh
and to be motivated.
I read to understand things I've never
been exposed to.
I read when I'm crabby, when I've just
said monumentally dumb things to the
people I love.
I read for strength to help me when I
feel broken, discouraged, and afraid.
I read when I'm angry at the whole
world.
I read when everything is going right.
I read to find hope.
I read because I'm made up not just of
skin and bones, of sights, feelings,
and a deep need for chocolate, but I'm
also made up of words.
Words describe my thoughts and what's
hidden in my heart.
Words are alive--when I've found a
story that I love, I read it again and
again, like playing a favorite song
over and over.
Reading isn't passive--I enter the
story with the characters, breathe
their air, feel their frustrations,
scream at them to stop when they're
about to do something stupid, cry with
them, laugh with them.
Reading for me, is spending time with a
friend.
A book is a friend.
You can never have too many."
— Gary Paulsen

ISLAMIZING EDUCATION

2011-08-17T13:04:00.006+08:00

While I was on my way back home, I encountered this slogan that says "ISLAMIZING EDUCATION" that was being posted outside a school premise. This drove me to write this essay. Indeed, there are countless integrated schools here in Marawi that claimed to be islamizing education. To me, this concept is not something to be easily put into practice.

First and foremost, when you used the project "ISLAMIZATION OF KNOWLEDGE". It means you islamize discipline that is alien to Islam such as western education. In other words, you take un-islamic concepts and make them relevant to Islam and reject that is unacceptable. I'm not going to elaborate more on this cause it entails further discussion on how to islamize foreign discipline as there are proponents of the Islamization of knowledge who have differing opinions on steps and procedures like that of al-Faruqi, al-Awani, al-Attas and Abu Sulayman to name few. However, what is important is as a proponent of IOK project, you take revelation (Qur'an and sunnah) as basis in islamizing certain discipline.

The question now is; Are these institutions, in essence, islamizing education? The answer is NO. It is true that they teach students on Islam but they don't Islamize western education. What is the essence of this project is to liberate the Muslim minds from the clutches of secular influence stemmed from western education. These institutions only pass on to students the dual education wherein this latter only generate the dilemma inside Muslims' mind. Teachers from both education go to classroom and teach two educations in total contrast of each other. If i may give a stark example, a teacher of western education will teach student about "human evolution" or "the Darwin theory" that we humans evolved out from ape and here comes Islamic teacher who teach students that we humans are sons of Adam and Eve that we are made out of clay. Nevertheless, we are not being taught to reconcile these two opposing theories that the truth is what Islam says so or there was no distinguished Islamizer of knowledge who woudl make a distinction between which one is true and which one is not. (This example is a self-experience)

I don't put too much negative criticism on these institutions. In fact, they helped the parents in educating the students on Islamic teachings. Students will be able to grasp knowledge about Islam and even put them into practice. They'll learn how to pray and some fundamentals of Islam. Alhamdulillah.

My concern here is the borrowing of term ISLAMIZING EDUCATION. IOK is a long process project. It is to produce things islamic. It is to make knowledge based on Qur'anic idea of al-Tawhid. (O. Bakar: Tawhid and Science, 239)To sum up this, It boils down to the fact that these institutions should understand what is really the essence of IOK. We need more scholars to grasp knowledge on this so that they will be able to relevantize un-Islamic discipline into Islamic education if we are really serious in this process. Of course, it is imperative for us as Muslims especially those who are scholars of western education to study Islam especially revealed knowledge and also Islamic heritage because this is the stepping stone to islamize alien concepts. Lastly, the education system should be in favor of this. However, this remain questionable to Muslims as a minority.

If a may qoute Syed Hossein Nasr's argument that is quoted by Osman Bakar from his book ,(Islam and Tawhid,237).

Muslims must confront modern science and technology with a deep sense if intellectual and moral responsibility and integrity in light if Islamic intellectual tradition. Muslims must come up with a positive Islamic critique of modern science on the basis of Islamic intellectual tradition, not only concerning what it is, but also concerning what it is not. It is the sacred duty of Muslim scholars, intellectuals and scientists to create an authentic contemporary Islamic science

From above quotation, it gives us glimpse on what is Muslims role on confronting modern science or knowledge.

Thanks to our beloved Prof. Abdul Rashid Moten who taught us Islamization of Knowledge (Issues in islamizing Political Science).

Ramadhan in IIUM/UIAM

2011-08-03T21:59:00.002+08:00

One thing I surely miss now is Ramadhan in UIA. Iftar gathering with friends at Shah Mosque, Taraweh Prayer, Qiyamul Layl at the same Moqsue, beautiful voice of Imam. Shah Mosque is very symbolic to me during this holy month.

To uplift my nostalgic feeling, I surfed the net and encountered these picturesque images.

SHAH's MINARET (Silhouette)

Pathway from Azman Complex.

Administration bldg.

Outside Shah Mosque in front of the Library

Picturesque view of the Admin. bldg

CHALLENGE

2011-08-02T21:34:00.005+08:00

My challenge for myself this Ramadhan is to avoid excessive use in FBing. We sometime post unnecessary things that may beget fitnah. Whenever I visit my FB, I feel muted but it's better for the time being. So, blogger is my refuge now.

Like what I have said in my last 3 previous entry that I don't feel comforting to post here everything under the sun. Yes, I won't write everything here. But I just miss them. Najool, Ashley, Te Mitch, Te Ints, and the rest of my closest friends. Should I say, Noorossayr? There are another people I wanna see but situation is not favorable. That is a sad reality. I wanna see ' becoz it brings happiness in me. It's amazing to think about it that you won't expect that there are people who subtly enter in your life but bring a tremendous impact. Subhanallah. But sadly to say that you can't see them whenever you wish to see them.

It's already third night of Ramadhan. I am happy because I am with my family; I ate and pray with 'em but there is an atom of sadness in me. Alhamdulillah...

FORGOTTEN

2011-08-02T21:09:00.001+08:00

We tend to forget sufferings in the horn of Africa.
We should include them in our prayers especially in this Ramadhan.

NORWAY ATTACK

2011-08-01T13:16:00.001+08:00

Many speculations were surmounting on Norwegian attacks. Many missing links were further make the attacks more confusing on how MASS MEDIA reports on this. I am one the confused one. but when I read this article, It somehow filled in the gap and provided me a clear and big picture.This article may be helpful to speculate on this incident. Theorizing Norway Attack

Another revealing and confirming fact about this is the nomenclature used by the MEDIA. It was speculated first that its a terrorist attack influinced by al-Qaeda. then, when the shooter (Breivick) was identified. The use Terrorist has changed to MADMAN or EXTREME Christian. Now, Media uses only TERRORISM when an atrocity is done by a MUSLIM.

RAMADHAN 2011/1432H

2011-07-31T20:43:00.003+08:00

I welcome Ramadhan with an open heart.

I thank you Allah that you give me another chance to worship you this Ramadhan. I thank you Allah that you made me realize the things that I used to love but are not actually good for me. I thank you Allah that I have come this far that I thought it was so hard for me to survive the trials that befell but here I am, surviving. I thank you that I still hold on because I know YOU are up above guiding me. I thank you Allah that despite of my vices you still forgive us. Thank you Allah that I am still alive and you give me hope to continue my journey to please you and fulfill what I deem to be my role as your slave. Thank you Allah that despite of countless ordeals in life, I still know happiness. Thank you Allah that for the blessings; may they be in the form of events, things and person.
Ya Allah, Increase our Iman. Forgive our sins. Make us among the humble ones. Make us among you love.
Ya Allah! Forgive our parents our forefathers and foremother and my whole family. Grant us happiness in this world and life here after.
Ya Allah! Guide us all the way. Bless us the way.
THANK YOU ALLAH FOR EVERYTHING. YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF TRUE HAPPINESS.

I MISS WRITING

2011-07-31T07:20:00.001+08:00

If there is one hobby I do miss? That is writing (Journal). Having a journal is a good refuge to release my fume, grievances. Whenever I want to say something that I could not spit it out loud, Journal is the answer. But as days have passed, it seems to me right now that its not very healthy to every personalized thoughts especially my emotions to put them in public. I don't feel it comforting now.

There is one thing I know for sure. I miss writing that pop us my head. I miss writing lessons I learn from this journey. There were attempts but my nerve was not that cooperative.

Mentioning life lessons, hmm...tons of them. One entry will no do. But one tremendous transformation in my life is identifying my values. What and who are important in my life. By this, petty things wont easily distract me and heavily affect me. They won't affect me but on the other token, I won't forget history. Others friends my think I've changed. This is my reply, I just knew my priorities. I just don't want to allow myself to get dragged back to abandoned past.

I'm taking a different pace that never intended to crush on someone. People who have crushed me and intend to crush are sidelined. It was enough to hurt me.

Alhamdulillah, another Ramadhan is passing. I am surviving. I survived from yesterday's trap. Allah has saved me from it.

CANDLES

2011-07-01T08:34:00.000+08:00

We are like so many candles of varying lengths and shapes and hues and sizes, the tallow they are made from is essentially the same and the light they burn is essentially the same, but the greatness of the flame, the light each sheds is not the same in power and magnitude. And we judge the man by those qualities by which he is not the same, but excels another such as by intelligence, virtue and spiritual discernment.

So it is neither correct nor true to regard such a man as merely a man of flesh and blood like any other, for he is not like any other in that his intelligence, virtue, and spiritual discernment transcend the limitations of his flesh and blood, and his greatness of spirit manifests his excellence over others, Adab is the recognition and acknowledgement of such lights in man; and acknowledgement entails an attitude expressing true reverence, love,respect, humility-it entails knowing one's proper place in relation to him who sheds such light.

excerpt from "Islam and Secularism" by S.M.N al-Attas

PHOTOGRAPHY

2011-06-21T00:19:00.001+08:00

They say that Art is freedom. It's an of expressing feeling that are sometimes difficult to put into words.

Photography is a kind of art that I find most fascinating. It is capturing lifeless things that you can turn into meaningful ones.

It's about seeing the world through your lens that reflects your understanding your own world.

One day, I will bump into that world, insha ALLAH=)

THE MANY FACES OF POLITICAL ISLAM: A Review

2011-06-16T14:32:00.000+08:00

By: Mohammed Ayoob

As I was reading the book, I came to realize that this book can be a resonse to those who define Islamist groups as monolithic like the book I read by Walid Phares entitled "War of Ideas: Jihadism against Democracy" that he equated all Islamists on the same ground.

This book by Mohammed Ayoob tries to demonstrate that Political Islamists are not monolith. They are defined according to internal contexts. Even though Muslim Brotherhood is the parent organization of Hamas and Clerical state of Iran has direct connection with Hizbullah are still determined by the political landscape within their boundaries.

It is important to note that Political Islamists morphed into pragmatism like that of AKP in Turkey to which it adopted radical departure from rigidity to flexibility just to take a leap forward in its political participation in the country. AKP's political success can serve as model for the rest of Muslim world.From the other extreme, the author examined also the al-Qaeda network. This network is a small minority that its global terrorist activities are not directed by its leader Osaman bin Laden. Every segment of this network have significant independence. This suffices it to say the not all terrorizing acts are not directly correlated to its leader Bin Laden.

Another important to consider is the nexus between the Islamists and authoritarian regime to curb the influence of opposition like that of alliance between Mussharraf regime in Pakistan and Islamists party of Jama'ah Islamiyah and others. Also, the nexus between CIA and bin Laden during the soviets invasion on Afganistan. The U.S. interest here is to contain soviets influence. These alliances demonstrate the role of politics.

Political Islamists popularity can be attributed to the failure of the unrepresentative and authoritarian regime to cater that societal demands. The former don't solely speak for Islam but it stands for human rights. Domestic variable is not only contributing to the popularity of Islmiast but external variable as well to which the unique interplay of domestic and international factors that continuously reinforce each other. Example of this is the symbolic relationship between the United States and clients state like Morocco, Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. Support of U.S. for these authoritarian regimes will secure their status qou. on the other hand, U.S. interest are also served.

From this book, we can comprehend essential points that emergence of the Islamic movements- may they be mainstream political Islamict or radical Islamist- is a reaction to the perceived hostile nature of the International system towards Muslim populations like the following points:

1. Policies of erstwhile colonial powers in the 1950' and the 1960s; the overthrow of the democratically elected Iranian prime minister Mohammad Mossadegh in 1953 after he had nationalized the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company in 951 to the Anglo-Israeli invasion of Egypt following Presidents Nasser's nationalization of Suez Canal in 1956.

2. The bloody war of independence forced on the Algerians by France's intransigent insistence that Algeria was a part of France.

3. America's current military occupation of Iraq has further convinced most Muslims that the United states is working within the same imperialist paradigm used in the Middle east by British and the French.

4. Unqualified support for Israel is also seen as part of America's strategy to create and strengthen proxies so as to better control the resource-rich Middle-East.

5. The support that Western powers have extended to authoritarian and repressive regimes in the Muslim world during the cold war and after United States has alienated the Muslim masses from the west and from the United States in particular.

6. Supported extended to the Shah of Iran. Propping up regimes like those of presidents Sadat and Mubarak in Egypt and kings Hussein and Abdullah in Jordan and collaborating with Saddam Hussein of Iraq to check the growing influence of revolutionary Iran in the 1980's.

7. Unstinted and unquestioning American support to Israel, especially to its policy of continued occupation and of settlement within Palestinian lands conquered in 1967.

8. American foreign policy that is characterized by double standards in relations to the Middle East.One example is that its supports for Israel's nuclear weapon while it opposed Iran's possession of Nuclear option and etc.

9. The American occupation of Iraq to overthrow Saddam Hussein under the guise of Iraq's possession of weapon of mass destruction which is not proven until now.

10. The American endorsement of the Israeli policy of inflicting highly disproportionate damage on Lebanon in July and August 2006.

It is sufficient to argue that Islamist agenda are just mere responses to the policies inflicted on the Muslim world and it puts them on to defensive side though other recourse to violent approach. Because of the internal and external factors, political Islamist shifted their tactics and strategies. They were also given space to popularity in the presence of these factors. Another important to note here is that political Islamists mainly mainstream ones are not anti-democracy as others scholars and thinkers may think. To prove this notion is the radical transformation of AKP, Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt, Hamas etc. to fit in political processes in their respective countries. Lastly, there is no single entity to represent the Islam or embodies the genuine model of Islamic state based on time of the Prophet S.W.A. The author expounded this on chapter 3, Iran and Saudi Arabia as self-proclaimed Islamic states.

-LET'S BEGIN AGAIN- لنبدأمن جديد

2011-06-02T12:36:00.002+08:00

I was always bombarded with criticism when Markazosshabab is mentioned. Some say that it’s like a sinking ship and other say it is in the moribund condition that there was no way to be reborn again. I sometimes found myself speechless to face these criticisms for the fact that I myself admittedly accept the tornadoes that Markaz was facing. I was even critical of how can we turn a blind to this malady. Amidst this, I was hopeful that one day, insha ALLAH, we will rise again from these turbulent years.

To those who are in great dismay and optimist, they may ponder when will be the time of its revival and how we can start from the scratch. To those you are pessimists and skeptics, they look at Markaz negatively and is always associated with damaging criticisms.

Thanks to Allah that I become part of the 1st Tarbiyyah conference. I was oblivious about what was the conference would be. While I was witnessing the turn of the event, I said to myself that this is the time. Markazosshabab is reawakening, it s reviving from stormy trials. It was overwhelming to witness the vibrant attendees.

From this momentous event, I can stride with pride and throw these arguments to those who think that Markaz is down on its knees or to those who are weakened and demoralized.

1. There are still RABT members. They did not lift their waiver, but they were just on the verge of disenchantment. They only needed a boost and motivation to rise up again.

2. If there were mistakes from the past, it was all because for the betterment of the society. Means and strategies were the pitfalls but Markazosshabab is learning from past mistakes. It is reborn again. It is overhauling itself.

3. If I could set 3 phases of the Markaz, there will be three phases; golden age, dark age and renaissance age. We are in the third phase. Insha Allah.

4. We were in disarray, but we are reuniting for the sake of brotherhood and for the sake of Allah.

5. Markazoshobab will never be decimated. Saboteurs may plot to overthrow the Jama3a but they will never be successful to lambast the FIKRAH because it’s in the minds and the hearts.

5. You can never have one like this. In the words of Dr. Abdullah Monib: “ di tabo dii makambalingan sa Shabab ka dadn a khatoon ta a lagid yan”. Many others have the same testimonials.

6. The capital of jama3a are the sincere members. And they are still willing to sacrifice. Praises to Allah. We were be able to collect PHP 73,000 in less than ten minutes to donate for the re-operation of DXAD. This is to manifest that the TRUST is still intact. (the collection of the money was not planned. It occurred spontaneously during the speech of Dr. Abdullah.)

7. Brotherhood is renewed. For around two thousand RABT members, they come to witness the event without seeking for monetary rewards but for the sake of love to Jama3a, to his brothers and sisters and to Allah.

8. We are approaching all these problems with an optimistic attitude. WE ARE POSITIVE.

9. Above all, MEMBERS are the CAPITAL of the Markaz. LET’S START AGAIN for Allah’s sake.

IMAGE: I choose the picture because it's very symbolic and historical: Younger and older ones, richer and poorer ones, ulama and proffessionals. They shook hands to symbolize the spirit of brotherhood._Musical background pla ung RIBAATUL UKHOWWA while they were shaking hands ago pd. Touching indeed.. <3

AL-MAYT

2011-05-11T22:20:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time that I haven't updated my blog about my personal and emotional thoughts. I don't have the nerve just yet. and mmm....I'm engaged now with my struggle and fight in walking my talk. I want to see those thoughts manifested in my life. indeed, its one of my greatest struggles I have ever been fighting so far in my life. So now let's put a halt now in talking.

Anyway, what drove me to write now is about dying. In just two hours from now, I was informed by my lil kiddy cousin of mine that our grand mother just passed away. (May Allah bless her soul) She was my grand father's first cousin. I'm not very closed to her since she's been living in our hometown. I saw her only once a while. Consequently, I rushed in to my uncle's house,in front of our house where she died.

While sitting there, I was listening to their testimonials about our granny. There is one universal custom if I may call it "universal" concerning one's death. Relatives, family and all people you have closely encountered with will talk about your character.

I was pondering on how will people talk about me when it's my turn. How many in my life I have hurt. How about my Ommi? How about my friends? will they say good words about me?

Yes, definitely. I want people to testify that I was a good person. THAT's my struggle now. I want to be a good person for the sake of Allah.

BIN LADEN'S DEATH

2011-05-04T22:18:00.000+08:00

MAY 2. I received a message from a friend telling that Bin Laded was killed. Initially, I was not extremely surprised maybe because I have read an article more than a year ago disclosing Bin Laden's death. When I turned on the TV, my friend's contention was confirmed that the headline was about the death of Bin Laden. However, because of the frenzied media's sensational coverage, I come to terms of buying what media or Obama's announcement to the public.

Since there are speculations questioning the truthfulness of Bin Laden's, the article written more than a year ago maybe is helpful to understand and provide answer to our inquisitive minds. Bin Laden: Dead or Alive.

Here is also a recent article following that deleration. Bin Laden's second death

We don't have to necessarily buy we read or heard but we can play with logic by dealing with reality. It's up to our humand how we extract truth from this world full of lies.

Arab Awakening or Islamic Awakening

2011-04-19T18:34:00.002+08:00

In my previous entry on Middle East uprising, I raised the notion of Islamic awakening. This write-up is to demonstrate that it was naïve and premature to argue that Mid east unrests are awakening Islamic tendency. Strictly speaking, the revolutions that took place were commenced by Youths. If you look at the mob vibrant in the streets especially Egypt are composed of various religious affinity. There were Muslims and non-Muslims, there were secular Muslims and Islamists. Islamists are only segment of the whole. They will struggle and re-adjust themselves to assert themselves in the post-revolution era. They can be given a chance for political participation in their perspective countries. However, you can also expect counter-revolution to which foreign element might play its meddling style to halt the emergence of Islamist groups. Herewith, Islamist group can either resurface or be suppressed again.

In the case of other Arab countries where uprisings are underway such as Yemen, Bahrain, Syria and Libya that turn to be a bloody war, we can perceive as event unfolds how Muslims are divided like in the case of Bahrain. Uprising in Bahrain was ignited by Shias although there small numbers of Sunni Muslims. In series of its uprising, Shia Saudis prompted to hold demonstrations but it consequently halted by Saudi government. From this scenario, sectarian divide still implanted in the Muslim world. Shias were protesting for the mistreatment or discrimination of their governments. Both Iran and Saudi Arabia are both criticizing each other’s role in Bahraini’s unrest.

I would rather discern that the Arab uprisings are a complex scenario. It was only a result of repressive governments that was triggered by Tunisia’s revolution. Also, Muslims are still divided on sectarian ground which negates it to say that it is Islamic awakening.

At the outset of the revolutions though it was not really predicted by pundits, you may say that Islam is resurfacing but as events unfold, you witness a complicated fiasco. Fareed Zakaria was right in his assumptions from his books “the post-American World”. He conceded that the divisions within Muslim world are less threatening to the U.S as a super power. I am not predicting now that Islam may not re-emerge again but we are seeing an overt division of Muslims. On the other hand, I’m not also losing hope.

There are so many things to learn from these uprisings.

NOTE:

On Fareed Zakaria: He is a Indian-American Muslim. Obviously, He is americanised and according to Wekepedia, he is from a secular family. I find his works unbiased. Although, he wo'nt take side Muslims. He only make analyis and lays down what is reality in contemporary world. Eihter you take his work or not.

I LOVE THIS. SOO "NATURE"

2011-04-19T18:29:00.000+08:00

OPEN SECRET

2011-04-10T18:16:00.003+08:00

I was watching Aljazeera , Frost, the former UK deputy prime minister John Prescott was being interviewed about his mobile phone was being hacked in the name of security. Herewith, it prompted me to write this.
When security becomes a fundamental importance of many states as it is embedded also in their national interest, privacy of individuals has become undermined. Intelligence as we all know is the state chief apparatus to help them come up with security policy.

Social networking is an easiest way for them to monitor the movement of individuals. It is made easy for them to put people into category. FB to some who are not aware of it is an open secret apparatus for intelligence. One thing I want to stress on is that not only we are being monitored while using our account but to those who are using FB mobile, it is POSSIBLE that all our transactions take place in our communication through mobile is being monitored too. (I am guilty of it)

If you want to understand how intelligence is operated globally, read the book below. Or you may go to this link.Facebook

MIDDLE EAST UPRISINGS

2011-02-25T12:18:00.006+08:00

The world is witnessing Middle East uprisings that mark an unprecedented historical epoch. It all started when a young man named Mohamed Bouazizi of Tunisia set himself in fire out his frustration in not getting job (result of unemployment-world economic depression). Then, he promptly mobilized and awakened his fellow citizens angered with the same frustration. Protests become nation-wide. And in 29 days, The Tunisian people have successfully deposed Zienal Abedin Ben Ali.

In the aftermath Ben Ali’s ouster, many have speculated that this will generate domino effect in its neighboring Arab countries. Now, those speculations were affirmed by Arabs themselves. Algerians already emulated Tunisian revolt but it was the Egyptians who have confirmed it. Egyptians have risen up and depose the Mubarak regime on the 25^th of January. After 18 days of uprising and revolution, Mubarak fell down (18 Feb, 2011).

An Arab political analyst once said during his interview that Tunisian revolution is a trigger and Egyptian revolution is a key. What we are seeing now in the Arab world is another new Era. Middle East will never be the same. El-Baradie said that “The barrier of fear has broken”. Arab people are willing to sacrifice their lives for their future. Arabs have spoken themselves. I remember that there was this caricature depicting Arab leader to only offer a mere a lip service while watching the killings of Palestinian people. Well, that is not the case now. People have risen up to challenge their rulers. Why should they wait for the time for rulers to bring reforms. The time is up. It’s too little too late. It’s the time for dictators to go.

Now, we are waiting who is the next line. Bahrainis, Yemenis, Libyans, Jordanians and others have already stormed the streets chanting the same aspirations: “Asha3b Yuredo Isqata nidhaam”.

Some say that this is the re-awakening of Pan-Arabism and others argue that it is Islamic awakening. What is important now is securing the revolutions to be hijacked by foreign elements. It is very important for the people to be vigilant for their transitional government to be engineered by them.

Those who are afraid of the Islamic awakening, they have nothing to do but to accept the destiny of history. Allah makes this to happen. Like what I have mentioned in my last two write-up that change takes place when people themselves want to change. Allah will give what they aspire for.

I am not an Arab because I have my own societal problem but Arabs are my brothers and my sisters. Also, change of new world order can affect my society. I wish to see a new totally Era in the future. I know that according to the study of revolutions, changes stem from it may take overtime. I may not see it while I am alive but It will happen in future generation.

I hope and I pray for better results of history. Ameen.

Allah is great. Allahu Akbar.

MUBARAK STEPS DOWN: 11/02/2011-1800hr

2011-02-12T00:29:00.003+08:00

Now at this very moment, I am witnessing the people of Egypt celebrating their revolution that led to the resignation of Hosni Mubarak.

In 18 days of protest, uprising and finally revolution, Mubarak has finally stepped down.

Hundreds of lives have been sacrificed, thousands have been injured. Finally, the historic moment has occured.

I pray for thee good future of Egypt people and neighboring countries and the whole world.

ALHAMDULILLAH, In my whole life I have witnessed the fall of the Mubarak regime.

TUNISIAN REVOLUTION

2011-01-27T00:17:00.003+08:00

Everyone did not anticipate a silenced nation would create a history. When you read news papers, turn on TV news, you expect what constantly appear on the headlines. Our eyes are open to bomb blasts in Afghanistan and Iraq, rockets fired in Gaza, Jewish expansion of settlement. But our attention never turns to Tunisia’s internal problem. Who would predict that it can topple the 23 year-long dictatorship of Pres. Zeinal Abedin Ben Ali.

I am not the authority to speak on Tunisia but since I always throw my attention to Middle east issues, I don’t see Tunisia on news headline. This unprecedented event shook the world. Political analysts and pundits were drawing lines how this gigantic event took place. Questions were raised how a regime backed by U.S and France was successfully ousted by civil society.

Many journalists, analysts and experts on this issue have already written their perspectives on this. On new analysis that I have read and watched, many differing speculations were put forward. Some say it will have a domino effect on other Arab neighboring countries. Other say it won’t spill over because this phenomenon happens once. It means that other Arab nations cannot emulate the same revolt done by the Tunisians . As history reminds us, last revolution did take place in the Middle east region was the ouster of Shah of Iran. So, this will happen again in years or decades.

When you look at all analysis, they approach the event in a western way of thinking. Yes, we should adopt this method in understanding events. However, not all situations and events can be explained limited only on this scope. As I watch Press TV program, Rattansi and Riddley, I found myself nodding to what MB exile Mohammad Ghanem perspective on this. He said that he has different outlook in this event. Tunisian revolution that shocked everyone by its unprecedented nature is a sign from God. Anything is possible to Allah. He further said that change is from the People. When the people genuinely want change, He (Allah) will bring change to them.

I know that more struggles in Tunisian in order to really achieve authentic revolutions but by his remarks, it sufficed my queries in mind. It also boosts my hope for the rest of the world. Seeing now the Egyptian uprising is thought-provoking and inspiring.

Water rafting adventure: Conquering my fear (31-12-10)

2011-01-05T07:39:00.001+08:00

There was a twinge of anxiety in me while heading to kagay. While going farther and farther from town and passing river many times without embarking, I was shaking with fear that the place we’re heading to is too far beyond my expectation that It’s only few minutes away from town. Seeing also the entrance leading to the starting area where it was to small and not properly located for a jeepney to enter was so wierd.

But while we were putting on equipment, I was really excited. Wow!! This is it. Adventure is about to begin. However, we were alarmed and extremely frightened at Sir Tata’s briefing. He said that if we did not follow the normal time for rafting, we may embark at 6pm and reach town at 9PM…OMG!! I could not imagine us rafting along the river at night without lights. Of course, you will expect darkness along a river. What is more frightening was if there will accident, we need to head to the left because it’s going to Cagayan while right is to Bukidnon. Waaaah!! How high is the possibility that we might be taken by wild currents without being rescued?

I knew that four of us were so scared. If I could just withdraw it and not to start the voyage then I will do it. But then, I was already there, had to go on and conquer my fear. I had to conquer my fear of water in river like I always imagine movies with such kind of river with wild reptiles not to mention them.

I followed what was advised to us. Then they were right, when you go with the flow and setting your fear, you’ll enjoy every bit of it. You’ll enjoy the adrenaline rush. The excitement you feel is indescribable that it’s only the feeling of experiencing it that can describe it. The nature that brings pleasure and bliss is a plus factor. Masha ALLAH. It was like paradise created by Allah that we need to take pleasure from it and enjoy.

ALHAMDULILLAH…I conquered my fear.

READ IT...

2010-12-28T16:29:00.001+08:00

While I was flipping through pages of a book by Fareed, Someone popped up on my mind, the one who bought this book as a gift for me. Well, actually it’s not a gift but it’s Waqaf. The former is more preferable than just a mere gift. I thought how is she doing at this very moment. She must not be in Isarji’s office. She’s maybe in Dr. Noraini’s office or maybe in her Mahallah room. Whatever her whereabouts right now, I wish that she’s alright and I miss her.

There is a saying: “Feeling of gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” William Arthur Ward. I am definitely thankful for her. If I am asked how I feel right now? Emotional, got teary eyed. Maybe because She’s one of the persons who paved my way to forgive people whomsoever I needed to forgive.

There was a moment that I told her I needed a spiritual enlightenment. There was many WHYs question. Why I had those grudges? Why it was hard for me to forgive? I was willing to forgive but why I couldn’t. In that conversation, she told that she wanted me to see me more forgiving. From then onward, it’s stuck on my head. Alhamdulillah, no more the same WHYs question.

After series of conversations with her, almost everything was getting back to normalcy. Those people are not affecting my life anymore. I realized that they don’t deserve even a single minute in my time pampering my grudges on them. Admittedly, there was this remorse deep inside of me. I always questioned why she gave me advices me with harshness. Why she treated me with a sheer of dictatorship. I was even asking if she was a real friend to me. But now, she showed me the big picture with clarity. I understood her and she understood me.

This is not only the dimension that we always dwelt on. When I had vagueness in my vision and confusion in my heart, she helped to figure it out. When I am about to burst out, she’s the one who can see the cue. When I am not in a good mood, she’s the first to know. When I am depressed, she’s the first to feel it.

She’s definitely the first to know, because we’ve been together since our first day in IIUM. She was my companion from Manila-KL-IIUM. We have witnessed how our lives unfolded in IIUM years. We’ve been neighbors. And I’d been her room mate (room squatting) from Sept 18-Dec.1, 2010.

She is my best Buddy, my mentor, my neighbor, my sister…..

Thank you for everything Mamwarding (Dr. Wardah Guimba).

May ALLAH watch over you, your husband and your family. Ameen=)

Meranao Society:Thinking beyond

2010-12-08T15:03:00.002+08:00

I was looking this morning at a vast surroundings and was captivated by the Natural bounties of Marawi (Lanao del Sur). Thoughts pouring my head that Lanao del sur is a place that I should be proud of. I can swagger around for its marvelous natural beauties. Seeing rain shower in greeneries is fascinating and soothing. You go to neighboring places but you cannot the not so hot and not so cold climate.

On the other token, other dimension of the picture rushed in. I am part of the system. I am within the system. There is even a relatively high percentage of pride within me being a Meranao. Yet, I cannot deny the undeniable daunting realities in Meranao society. In more than two decades of existence. I am almost hundred percent aware the mindset of my people. Yes, there are exceptional traits that manifested in Meranao traits which I could stride with pride to everyone that THAT IS MERANAO CULTURE and I AM PROUD OF BEING ONE; Maratabat (pride) it is good when carried in appropriate measures. There was even a Japanese student whom we meet years back and was conducting a study on Maratabat trait of Meranaw. Also, I remember when I was overwhelmed by my former Professor in MSU, Halilayah(May Allah bless his soul), who was praising the maratabat of Meranao when he was defended by his Meranao friend if someone will try to touch Prof. Halilaya. Secondly, Tabang System is one of the striking Meranao culture. Relatives will collectively lend a helping hand for you. May it be financial or Moral support and the like. You will not be forsaken by having this. Thirdly, Meranao generally are hospitable in nature. With its accommodating style, you will often see groups entertainingly assembled for a long conversation. Strangely enough, they even discuss about the delimma and problems besetting our society.

On the other side of the token, almost all of the cultural setbacks in my own opinion stemmed from unwittingly or abusively execution of the two former traits. Because of the extreme maratabat, Meranaw exhibits with unfitting fearlessness and bravery. Because of the abused tabang system , some Meranao has become immobilized and rely to relatives for financial assistance. That's one reason why you see myriad of beggars in the streets. Needless to say the KAPAMAGINNGITA attitude. If this so and so has this, I have to have it also. Kapamaginggita not within the framework of Islam.

Thinking all of these, I remember the movie CHE I just saw last night. Che said: "Most of people are determined by forces they don't even see". Che of course was referring to the influence of the capitalist system. I do strongly with Che Guevarra that we people are sometimes being dictated and manipulated by forces we do not see. We fight for something, we stand up for something, we cling to these particular principles without identifying which these principles are derived from. As a result, we will find ourselves unable to champion our advocacy.

Looking at the Meranao society, blame should not be confined solely to the west. The west is part of the History. Its only how are we going respond to their influence. Like that of the contention of many Muslim scholars, we can adapt and reject some of the west culture. We can apply the concept of "RELEVANTIZATION". Another factor is the role of Ulama and the demagogic politicians. There are Ulama and demagogic politicians who have the noblest advocacies, when influence and position fall in their grip giving up their stance. Self-interest comes above public interest.

NOTE:

*RELEVANTIZATION- It is a concept in Islamization of Knowledge. I am not too much well-versed in this concept but It is a process of making the foreign discipline relevant to Islamic disciplines. Maybe other friends can help.
*With few exceptions for pointing at Ulama and politicians.

RANDOM

2010-12-03T11:54:00.002+08:00

*My 2 months and 17 days in Malaysia was worth-while. There are important things I've accomplished; Convocation, Presentation in an International Conference, and finishing my concept paper. Its only a draft but alteast I have an idea what is my interest.

*Of course, there is always a reason why. There is a reason why ALLAH lemme stay there that long. One reason is to think about PhD. waaaah??? PhD?? I am so keen to do research. My PhD friends told me: " PhD is a solitary journey. It demands commitment and devotion". That means, NO HAPPY GO LUCKY type of attitude and always finds yourself in solitude??. Prof. Moten advised me: "The sooner you get your PhD, the better". I have to rethink about that, Huh?=)

*Another reason is to learn to forgive. I know people especially some friends of mine would say that FORGIVENESS is a crap. Its a rhetoric. I would partly say YES. come on, we all want to live a happy live. Just pray to ALLAH to render your forgiveness. Grudges are more crap. Why do I have to invest negative feelings on someone. They waste my energy. I can even say wholeheartedly to them "Thank You" and "Good luck to your life".

*Some people live for fame. some people live for wealth. some people live for revenge. some people simply for love. Which one you prefer?

*I know that Life is struggle. but always keep in check what is this that you struggle about. is it worth fighting for. The very REASON for our struggle draws our happiness in life. You maybe struggling for a cause, for a person you love, for knowledge. Then WHY?

*LOVE: love is the most precious thing one can ever have. Money cannot buy Love. You love someone because of Money or Fame? you only get what aspire for. Love comes to those who believe it. but Love cannot be used for malign intention because that entails havoc.

*From the movie EAT, PRAY, LOVE: "sometime losing control in love is part of living balance in life". I do believe somehow. Don't be afraid to love.

*IDEAS and THOUGHTS: We may have noble ideas and thoughts but they are just futile if not acting upon them. That is my struggle as well. To walk my thoughts not just writing them, pouring them on my head and chanting them....I know it's hard. As Nassim Taleb says : "The key is not having ideas but having recipe in dealing with your ideas".

*Structuring your plans/goals will help you out in deciding. Set a Plan A, B or C, then put timeline, how to achieve it, reasons what's stopping and motivating you from it. Pray Istikhara even. decide. that's it.

*The Journey continues. Enjoy the views and sceneries. Embrace the trials and keep standing strong.

It will never be forgotten

2010-11-04T11:30:00.005+08:00

Beneath the surface is a story

A story that the world has never known

It was left covered

And become a history

People turn oblivious

But It will never be forgotten

To comprehend now

Is to refer to yesterday

They laugh and celebrate

yet ignoring the jolt of their conscience

People abuse the silence

But reckoning day has yet to come

Don’t leave things devastatingly

Allah’s words are the truest of all

You and I are unaware of it

Allah is the supreme Judge

A SPECIAL PRESENT FROM TATIE

2010-11-04T11:27:00.001+08:00

The City Lights

2010-10-26T12:43:00.011+08:00

We drive along to nowhere
that lead us to discoveries

We go along at the speed of light
While listening to each other's stories

Here comes a beauful song
and stop to ponder

We feel every beat of sound
And absorb every meaningful lyric

We listen to a beautiful rhythm
And take pleasure from the City lights

We come together
To see the beauty of the world

Our Bondings that will always be remembered

This is for my friend FIE
My buddy to see the Beautiful world in a a Busy City Lights...

It's been a while

2010-10-18T21:13:00.002+08:00

It’s been a while that I have not updated this Blog. Momentous events have been passed and already a history. Every turn of event has a story to be told and to be remembered. In every event, there are scenes, there are people, and there are emotions. These what made up LIFE.

throughout this, we learn to categorize people in our lives. There are passers by and will leave a scar, people who will give big blow in your life, intentionally hurt you I mean. well, these are the people whom I consider insignificant but leave a significant lesson. Thanks to them anyway, they make us strong and mold us into better persons, insha ALLAH. on the other hand, there are people who are heaven sent and will support you all throughout. They may not be always by your side, yet by just thinking that there are purest friends who display unconditional lending hands and by just thinking about their authentic friendship. loyalty and love, can help you break all the hassles and obstacles in our adventures. May Allah bless them for taking a vital part in our lives.

If I wanted to write down every major event that passed will make up a volume of book. Nonetheless, how to make life a life is to appreciate to what Allah given you at the present and make the most of it. Enjoy what is there for you as of the moment than realizing later on that you had a beautiful life with dying memories.

There is always a tidal wave, ebb and flow. Yet, everything will be back to normal. Disposition and attitude are important factors for a happy life with Allah as guide for everything.

نعم لا بد من حب - حمود الخضر

2010-09-02T14:24:00.003+08:00

POINTS

2010-08-31T16:42:00.001+08:00

*LET US RESPECT EVERYONE'S DECISION. SO LONG AS IT DOESN'T BRING HAVOC IN YOUR LIFE, SO BE IT. Sometimes we judge some one's action but we do not know the real motive. That's the least they can do than to create emotional damage.

*I told this to a friend that I always cling on. PEOPLE deserve what they deserve. They will face wrath from ALLAH if they deserve it. I BELIEVE and I alwaysbwill.

*ALLAH know what's inside our HEART. so PLEASE!!!!! DON'T JUDGE......

*BALAA and IMTIHAAN are two different concepts in ISLAM...BALAA: is a by-product of your malign actions. TIYOBA. IMTIHAAN: is a test/trial from ALLAH. HE is testing our IMAN....we do not know which we fit in there....JUST KEEP INCREASING OUR IMAAN........

NUCLEAR IRAN: Deterrence and Balance of Power?

2010-08-27T21:57:00.002+08:00

I have watched a program on press TV , Autograph, with Scott Ritter being interviewed on his book, The Dangerous Grounds. His book is basically stresses on the history of the development and proliferation of the nuclear weapon. Specifically, he contended that the bombing of Hiroshima was not intended to Japan itself but an act of deterrence to Soviet Union that United States is capable of producing Nuclear power.

Some striking points that the author argued that I could still remember is firstly, deterrence is a Myth. It is a constructive idea of speculating others a threat. It is a Myth that nuclear states are addicted with. He said also that nuclear deterrence is a by-product of fear of threat that doesn't exist. For example, It is a false fear of saying, by Obama in Nuclear Conference of April that Nuclear Weapons are dangerous in the hands of the terrorists and rogue states. Labeling people as terrorists and Rogue states falls under constructive thought and it can be viewed as false threat because in the very place, it is the United States who gave their definition.

Secondly, Nuclear arms never creates security. Unites states argument was that its nuclear policy to provide security but this is not the case. Developing nuclear arms creates insecurity to other states, As a result, states that are capable of developing nuclear power will acquire one. This eventually led to the proliferation of nuclear power. In addition, the notion of Balance of Power comes into play.

To my opinion, I don't oppose to Iranian acquisition of Nuclear Capabilty. Firstly, it is a signatory of Non-Proliferation Treaty. Secondly, It has incessantly argued that it is for peaceful purposes. Thirdly, if it will develop into nuclear power, It is a result of insecurity stems from Nuclear capability of the neighboring country Isreal, a non-signatory of NPT. So, Iran has all the rights of producing its own and strike a balance of power in the Middle-east region.

To view all the authors interview, go this link:Autograph

MYX

2010-08-13T16:24:00.000+08:00

*RAMADHAN- A month of forgiveness...Let's forgive one another. I miss ramadhan in IIUM. Shah Mosque where i meet friends. I miss ramadhan in IIUM in its totality.

*FRIENDS- A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Alhmdulillah, need not mention thier name but I'm soo blessed to have them. they are the one who understand. who would offer thier time whenever i need them.

*FAMILY- Thanks to Allah. We are reunited after a dacade. Akhuya and family were here. So sad. He's no longer arround. Hope to meet them soon. Insha ALLAH

*AS-SSABR.-its mentioned in Quran 95 times and its always have positive connotations...That's why ALLAH said: FASBIR SABRAN JAMEELAA...now i know the essense of it. There is beauty and blissful feeling when you make sabr sincerely. You will still the meaning of happiness despite of the turmoil in your life.

*TRUTH- There are always two sides of stories. I do not know which side of the coin should I believe in. I DON'T CARE now. Allah knows what we dont. I leave it to Him. and I put Trust in Him.

*LIFE- IF there is sunset, there is sunrise. if there is night, there is day. if there is pain, there is joy.

*ON MIND- hmm...I'm thinking of privitizing my BLOG and select people who can only view this. still thinking...

*SO MATA NA MIYAMBAGIAN YAN SO KAPAGORAWK. NA SO PUSO NA MIYAMBAGIAN YAN SO KAPAKAKHARATA GINAWA. I'm moved by this when i hear it during moltaga. giya i ropa kauyagoyag.

Al-Ghannoushi: Major deficiencies of the traditional Islamic movement

2010-07-05T14:19:00.002+08:00

This is taken from article “Rashid al-Ghannoushi: Portrait of a Contemporary Islamic Thinker and Activist” written by my former Professor El-Fatih A. Abdelsalam from the book entitled “Contemporary Islamic Political Thought” edited by Zeenath Kausar.

Rashid al-Ghannoushi was on 22 June 1941 in Tunisian. He is the founder and leader of al-Nahdah movement in Tunisia. He followed the teachings Muslim revivalists such as Abu’l A’la Maududi, Hassan al-Banna and Sayyid Qutd. He is attracted to the Islamic though of Malik Bennabi and considered him as “a pillar of Islamic though and revivalist of Ibn Khaldoun’s Islamic rationalism”.

He analyzed the major deficiencies of traditional Islamic movement and cited two examples: the working class and the role and the position of women in society.

To Ghannoushi, the Islamists have failed to mobilize the working class, leaving the door wide open for the proponents of leftist and rightist ideologies to dominate this sector. the reason behind this failure goes back to the Islamists’ ignorance and insensitivity regarding the political and social problem of the working class. The Islamist must break from the traditional belief that “unionism was alien to the Islamic view of life which disproves of class conflict and bears no pretense of absolute equality in material status.”

Likewise, Ghannoushi argued that the influence of the Islamists on the female sector has been restricted for the same reason: a lack of awareness and insensitivity toward oppression, degradation, abasement, rectrictions of women’s horizon and roles in the life of society that they have endured during the long centuries of decline. It was natural that women became influenced by the enticements of the west, becuase they had been suffering under the yoke of an oppressive, false Islam, sustained by the silence of “men of religion”. What the Muslim women needs today is a liberation movement to restore her to herself and to her innate nature as a guardian of heritage of mankind and a partner of man in the Jihad to liberate herself and him from the forces of exploitation and submission except to God.

WHAT'S ON MIND...

2010-07-02T22:46:00.001+08:00

*I LOOK FORWARD TO GET RE-UNITED WITH MY AKHUYA after a decade and ofcourse with my OKHTA after almost 3 years. Insha ALLAH

*My Plan may change after having reunited with them.

*Going back to Malaysia... IS IT A RIGHT PLACE FOR ME? OR IS IT A RIGHT TIME for now?..Questions hanging!

*avoid anything that triggers hurt feeling.

*Always keep reminding yourself of WHO YOU ARE...so kasayan na pakasisingay!!

*TAKABBOR,,, Kapangimporoan! isa a Paniyakit? Are you one of them?

*Dont always reminisce. You cant step farther is you do so!!...

*Get out from your comfort zone. It's not good for you.

*ALHAMDULILLAH, I am not always affected.

*Didn matay so taw odi ron mapakitana o ALLAH so miyanggalebek yan KAPLALALIM sa taw.

*MARAWI now is so critical. MALA den AYA TIYOBA. Ka so mga tao na mindarwaka. Aya di paginggitaan na so mga DOSA!...NO FEELING OF GUILT. DIPN DI IPAMAGAMBOG oman isa so miyandosa niyan. YA ALLAH pakalindonga kami ngawn.

FRIENSDHIP

2010-06-21T16:24:00.001+08:00

AL-AQSA IS IN DANGER...

2010-06-20T01:24:00.002+08:00

Many of Muslims might not know the importance of Masjad al-aqsa.

This link Al-Aqsa will give us insights about al-Aqsa. It will lead us undestand why it is our responsibility to Unite for Al-aqsa and to liberate it.

RANDOM thoughts

2010-06-15T23:58:00.005+08:00

*I sometimes utter words that might hurt somebody else not within my intention. That is because of my imperfections and on being human. I should watch my words. Insha Allah.

*Some people may think that I am happy. Yes, I am because I choose to be happy despite of the painful realities. I am also hurt but I tend not to indulge to such feeling.

*sometimes being sad is a by-product of mind. when we entertain negative thought that clouds on our head then it will eventually change our mood.

*Depression is an option. Happiness is a choice.

*It is good to be NUMB sometimes.

*"PAMAKOTINGA SO KAKANGODA NGA KO DI KA DI KANGGALBEK KO AGAMA NGA" I heard from this morning talk. How I wish to be among those who devote themselves FI SABILILLAH. (got from CMYWAS talk)

*I know who I am. I can hear the calling. It is only one step at a time.

*I am all aware that Allah is all hearer, all listener. He never forsakes me. HE always lifts me up.

*I am happy. I have more friends. (friends fillah)! Alhamdulillah.

*What I wish for myself is the same for all the beloved. Insha Allah

*Yes, I act childishly. Yes, I want it changed. But that's me. How?

INSPIRED TO WRITE

2010-06-11T22:19:00.004+08:00

BISMILLAHI RRAHMANI RRAHIM…

I do not know how I am going start my entry write now. I am writing now with tears streaming down on my face. I am just being moved to many things. Also, a dear friend of mine ( a little sister to me) asked me to write an inspirational write up. I do not know how I am going to make this inspirational the fact that she is the one inspired me.

Admittedly, I want to make my life inspirational yet I am a weak servant, fallible to make mistakes, prone to commit sins. Rather, I take now inspiration and motivation from all walks of life.

I know I have my own problems to deal with. Yet, we need to make ourselves available to friends whenever they need us. I’ve listened to myriad of stories. They be emotional, dramatic, funny etc. but stories are to be listened to gain wisdom from them, to get stronger out of it. If a friend called your name to lend an ear, then you have to be there because that is a Mas’uliyyah. (forsake not your sister/brother in Islam). You have to show gallantry or strength even you are not strong enough to hear them.

Recently, a very close of mine sent me one message telling that she needed someone to ease the emotional baggage she’s been carrying. Then I said what could I do to help her. later, she told me why she’s on brink of a painful condition and even said to me that she felt like dying. Frankly speaking, I was not really confident in what way I could help her to ease the pain because I was not around, I was not beside her. I just simply said that to have faith in Allah. There is no one to turn to but Allah. I know sometimes people around you might not understand because they have not been in that situation. Telling them sometimes is a waste of time because they will give alienated advices. however, do not forget to seek advice whom you can trust, who can give good advices.

Another thing, I replied that better to do JIHAD. I did not mean here (necessarily) you are going to arm yourself and go to war. I meant make our life for the Allah’s cause. Yes, there are personal problems you always bump into, problems are recurrent to our lives. problems are integral to our HAYA’. Don’t make them obstacles in pursuance of your core purpose in life. Better to die as shahid than die because of some other problems like bitter romantic love so to speak.

Being bombarded with many heartbreaking, miserable stories, there is one thing I could say, cry when you want to cry. laugh when you want to laugh. yet, amidst of your life adventures, find where you can find yourself, find where on earth you can say that this is you. This what Allah made you for. This is where I can be as a true Muslim. This is where I can make contribution for your religion.

In fact, I was with friends and another friend asked me how do I feel bring here in Marawi. I replied, I am being stagnant here. I know what I want to do but not in here. I feel like I don’t fit in this environment. I do not see myself here. I know your society comes first but Allah show will show me the way insha Allah.

To my sister Aaisah, you asked me to write now. Thank you for visiting my blog. I did not know that you open my site reqularly. I do not know how this will lift you. you are the one you lift me always. You mention about KAWAFAT and it moved me so badly. We do not when are we going to die. We do not know if we are in a right path. I pray to Allah that you will get well soon so that you will dedicate your life to Islam as you do now. Jazak Allah for the inspiration. Always give inspiration to others.

To my sister Najool, I know you are a regular reader and I am so glad knowing it. Thank you because you made me realize something. Thank you for lending an ear. Thank you for sharing your stories even I supposed to give realization but you are the one did it to me. I wanted to write yesterday, but my mood to write did not strike and now here it is. Always give sound advices to others and always good friend to other.

To other readers, Thanks. Jazakumullah=)

WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE…

2010-06-08T22:00:00.009+08:00

What would it be like if there is no internet: no FB, no Twitter, no FS, no BLOG, no YM etc?

Using social networking is a tool to convey our message. To stay connected with beloved, friends, relatives.

Sometimes its helps, sometime it doesn’t.

Sometimes it is relieving. Sometimes it is suffocating.

Sometimes it is truthful, sometimes it is faking.

Sometimes it is honest, sometimes it is deceitful.

Either way, I need to turn OFF my connection and get back to real life.

I feel like so suffocated and get relieved form robotic world. NOW!!

Need to do something!!

-LESSON- don’t dwell too much on your emotions. Another suffocating..and It is soo overrated! kapagod!..Promise!!

-WISH AND PRAY: I wish everyone is OK, especially to those who are dearer to me. Praying to your beloved one paints a smiling face=) no rancor, no sign of hatred! ALHAMDULILLAH! ALLAH HAFIZ

Faithfully

2010-06-08T13:45:00.003+08:00

Im not an avid follower of Pilipinas got Talent. But I like Jovit's attention cathcer's vioce! and he is my BET for grand Finals. He caught my attention on his first audition.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xxXBjCGUSQ&feature=related

Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go 'round and 'round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sendin' all my love
Along the wire

They say that the road ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line it's been you and me
And lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully

Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you

And being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully

Whoa, whoa, faithfully
I'm still yours
Ever yours
Faithfully

Below is the original singer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWC9MHgpL8U&feature=related

REWIND

2010-06-07T09:52:00.001+08:00

I was taking a look all my picture in my loptop! I saw these old taken pictures. It's good sometimes to reminisce. The first picture was taken during my first sem in UIA . I want to gain weight exactly like that.

IN THE MIDDLE OF BATTLEFIELD

2010-06-06T21:39:00.001+08:00

THE TEARS HAVE DRIED, THE POCKETS HAVE EMPTIED, THE ENERGIES HAVE DRAINED

2010-06-05T07:47:00.003+08:00

I woke up in the morning not so feeling well and received an order to execute my function as paralegal. I had to get up in to the nerve to perform my “mas’uliyyah’

responsibility. However, I have not stayed there for the procession cause I feltl like I could not stay there until midnight due to my condition. I asked for replacement.

Making an entry until to the transmitting and consolidation area ( Capitol Gym) was too restricted. You need to pass through three screenings: main gate, capitol gym entrance and entrance into the transmitting and consolidation area. To our dismay, its being ordered to the AFP and PNP that only legal counsels are allowed to enter in the canvassing area.

While we were seating at the bleacher, I found myself asking where the hell come that order the fact that according to the COMELEC resolution 8689 if not mistaken, watchers, paralegal are allowed to enter near to the canvassing area. I found myself in rage and indignation that if only people knew they are we are doing this. THE TEARS HAVE DRIED, THE POCKETS HAVE EMPTIED, THE ENERGIES HAVE DRAINED. We are doing this not for the vested interests. we are doing this not after the money. If they are, then they can live with luxuries without having positions in the government. They are doing this for the PEOPLE, for the RELIGION. (salipadaw ko inged, sabt ko pagtao na siyap ko agama).

Sometimes, living in lanao del sur is no longer worthwhile. Pkisambi badn so rata ginawa. MIYAPOS SO WASIYAT, MIYARASAY SO KANDAUWA NA D PAKATABAN SO PANININDEG KA PTHABANEN O KABUBUWAYA SA PERAK, KABUBUWAYA SA KADATO. The minds and hearts of the masses are corrupted.

It is so odd that people put the blame on the leaders wherein in the very first place they are the one made the choice who is going to lead them. here comes a Hadith that says: “When people live in transgression and disobedience to what Allah has decreed, Allah will send them corrupt leaders.” (rephrased) Amay ka so mga tao ko inged na mindarowaka na imbgay kiran o Allah so darawaka a leader.

I don’t pinpoint any specific leader. but by looking at the situation in lanao, It speaks of itself. It is undeniable truth.

I AM SAD

2010-06-03T18:57:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOLHFgghz2E

While standing at the edge
Here come a jeepney that passed by
She heard a something familiar
She cant help but to feel so sad and so sad=(

I JOIN THEM

2010-06-02T14:01:00.004+08:00

I join the world in protesting the Israelis attack on Gaza Flotilla and honoring the lives of the International human rights activists.

Photo from Ana Muslimah via FB

another HECTIC sked..

2010-06-01T19:06:00.000+08:00

I'll be busy the next few days for special elections. Another challenging assignment. Of course, It's kinda alarming coz all the remaining municipalities are obviously war torn areas and I have to re-energize myself. This is a responsibility=( ALLAHUL MUSTAAN

stressed yet HAPPY

2010-06-01T18:27:00.001+08:00

"JOB WELL-DONE!" good to hear it,,IM ON A RIGHT TRACK INSHA ALLAH...

Photo by: H. Koppdelaney

THIS VIDEO IS FOR THE BELOVED!

2010-05-31T07:46:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GigVVCYkjQI

-Nothing could manifest your love to the beloved except loving her/him/them for the sake of ALLAH!-

-this is video for today-<3 <3 <3

I wish to have them sooner...inshA ALLAH!

2010-05-29T18:55:00.006+08:00

These are the books i wish to have for my future academic adventure.

1. Islam,The West, and the Challenges of Modernity by Tariq Ramadan- I've not read any of his books. yet, since he is one of the top 100 influential scholars and a grand-son of Hassan al-Banna, i wanna read this and some of his Writings, insha Allah. I wanna know how he differs that of his late grand father and know his political ideology in contemporary times.

2. The future of Islam by John L. Esposito- no one has influenced me on this but i admire him. though he is an orientalist but he is unbiased in his writings. He writes not purposely on deteriorating the image of Islam but for the sake knowledge itself. That's according to my Prof. and i have read one of his books which i found it insightful that Muslims and non-muslim should read.

3.Modern Political Thought by Hamed Enayat- Its Dr.Danial who recommended it. It's been a long time since he recommended this to us(Potical Theory class) but up until now, I don't have copy. What's interesting in this is that it contains Muslim thinkers may they be radicals, reformists, secular in modern times. These are the catalyst who have ignited revolutions and political movements.

4.The Many Faces of Political Islam by MOhammad Ayoob- I dunno basically the content of this book. but by its cover, we would have an idea. It was Student of Prof. Kamal who has infuinced me. I borrowed a copy form UIA lib as Prof. kamal asked me to but never get a chance of reading it.

5. The Next 100 Years by George Friedman- I had borrowed a copy again as requested by former boss but never get chance of reading it. I just find it interesting because of his forecast in next 100 years. That's all.

6. The Post-American World by Fareed Zakaria- It's through Prof. Kamal again, but the fact that its written by Fareed, then I find it worth-reading. so far, i have read numerous of his articles in NEWSWEEK because he is a regular writer in it. He is not that biased according to my reading. Its just that his political analysis are blended with westernized leaning. It means that his worldview is more on western influence. Wallah Alam. this is according only to my readings.

more BOOKS that i have interest in but these are the priorities.

Update on the book of THE WAR of IDEAS

2010-05-27T11:29:00.001+08:00

I just finished only few chapters. The more I get read through, the more it gets interesting. But I noticed some concepts that I am not comfortable with and have some point of clarifications. Im not yet thorough reading it but I will write first my observations for my future queries.

1. Waled Phares is obviously pro-democracy. He is promoting democracy. An agent of democracy suffice it to say.
2. His book is entitled “The war of Ideas” and is undoubtedly engaged in the war of ideas by promoting the concept of democracy.
3. Obviously, he talkes about Jihadism. However, He always interchangeably uses JIHADISM and ISLAMISM. He did not draw a line between the former and the latter. He only defined JIHADISM but did not define ISLAMIST. To me, the two concepts are totally different. The latter is a general term while the former is just a segment of it.
4. He labeled Bin laden, Ahmadenijad, Nasrallah and Shiekh al-Qardawi on the same parallel. To me, these personalities have diverging views on Jihad.
5. According to my reading so far, He puts disdain on JIHADISM based on history that is driven to kill and to be killed. He gives ideas to readers that JIHADISM is designed to Kill. Jihadism for me and according to Islam is designed for defense. Defense for territory, lives, religion etc. Wallah Alam
6. He pointed out that Jihadist ideology is the longest enemy of democracy. Contemporary aren’t some radicals who want to reform or change the system or are “frustrated with INJUSTICES” within global society. The jihadists are outside the world system and aim at destroying it altogether and replacing it with their own ideological system. their view of humanity is simplied: it is dar el Islam and dar el Harb. The first one is the world as they see it perfected under the rule of caliphate with implementation of Sharia law. the second doctrine is the proof that the jihadists are not only aiming at, but already performing a war of civilizations. He failed to emphasize the whole concept of JIHAD.

MY COMMENT:

I am not the authority to speak on this and am not yet thorough but I will humbly try my best based on my little knowledge and orientation. Islamism and Jihadism as I mentioned earlier are different concepts. Islamism is a general concept. Also, He mentioned that JIHADISTS are not frustrated to the INJUSTICES. I beg to disagree with that notion. JIHADISTS are forced to fight “with some exceptions” out of injustices and oppression. In addition, What I know about Islamists ideology is to reform the cotemporary conditions not to create Havoc to Humanity. Sayyid qutb, Hassan al-Banna etc. may have created wave of revolutions but it is the result of the imperialistic ambitions of the west in the Muslim lands.

*That’s for now. I will try to internalize and absorb while I go through pages. Insha ALLAH. I miss all of a sudden my colleagues, my Professors like Prof. Moten, He is the authority on this topic, and Prof. Kamal, another well-versed on this area. Wish to get back to them and help to enlighten me on my quest.=)

NOTE: my observations and comments can be altered after finishing the book

rendering ALLAH's intervention in all your Affairs....

2010-05-26T15:57:00.005+08:00

Putting Allah at the center your affairs will provide a divine explanation in all you questions in life.

its too unfathomable to unmask all wisdom emanates in each event. but at least to some extent, you reach the level of awareness that Allah is there. HE listens. Not only a hearer but a listener.

That's why amidst of uncertainties and frustrations, something tells you from within (out of the blue) that YOU WILL BE FINE. EVERYTHING IS GONNA ALRIGHT. inshALLAH

SPEECHLESS

2010-05-24T12:47:00.006+08:00

from Flicker BY Khalid Almasoud

I love art....It speaks of what I am, Who I am, What I feel=)

EVERYBODY HURTS

2010-05-24T12:28:00.005+08:00

When your day is long and the night
When the night is yours alone
When you think you've had enough of this life
Well hang on

Don't let yourself go 'cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along

When your day is night hold on
(Hold on)
(Hold on)
If you feel like letting go
(Hold on)
(Hold on)
If you're sure you've had too much of this life hang on

'Cause everybody hurts sometimes
Take comfort in your friends
And everybody hurts

Don't blow your hands
Oh
No
Don't blow your hands if you feel like you're alone
No
No
No
You're not alone

If you're on your own in this life and the days and nights are long
If you're sure you've had too much of this life to hang on
Yeah

Everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries sometimes
Everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on
Hold on
Hold on
Hold on
Hold on
Hold on
Hold on
Hold on 'cause no
You're not alone

THE WAR OF IDEAS by Walid Phares

2010-05-23T10:40:00.002+08:00

It seems that I’ve been out of track recently and even engaged in “hogwash” things. So, I now have to get back on my league and started reading a book written by Walid Phares. I found it worth-reading even though I only finished its Introduction. To my delight, I see it helpful to my future academic quest, (hopefully) insha Allah.

Anyway, before proceeding to what basically the book is all about, this is the last book I bought at Kinokuniya, Suria KLCC before I left. I included this to my stuff I posted together with Hanna in IIUM post office and just got it reached here last two days.=)

Basically, Walid Phares talks about the War of Ideas that has been an overarching framework of the twentieth century. Ideas have been the engine of history. All historical epoch has been driven by ideas. Ideas have been the driving force of the transition of historical phase that produced by philosophers, social visionaries, and politicians to guide people.

In order to legitimize major decisions, strategies, conquests, sacrifices and other collective human endeavors, ideas had to be structured, grounded in logic, accepted, and pursued. In short, ideas are behind collective human behavior, whether political, economic, or religious. They describe the world and prescribe actions; they serve as fuel for war and philosophies of peace.

Ideologies can be seen as daughters of ideas-more complex, more determined, nad by far more lethal. in the history of conflicts and clashes, ideologies were omnipresent: nationalist, socialist, communist, populist, anarchist, or ultrareligious, they all sought domination in the name of higher calling, a divine, materialistic, philosophical, or historical ideal that claims supremacy among human doctrines.

Ironically, ideologies may start as an expression of age-old desires, such a lust for territory and domination, but as history evolves, they become self-fueled as a desire in itself, an autonomous wish to accomplish an idea regardless of its irrelevance.

In his book, he limits his study to two opponent camps; the ideas of democracy have been the engine of history in the modern era. On the other hand, jihadism is a force emerged from Islamic sphere to oppose the spread of democracy and aim at the re-creation of what they perceive as a caliphate, merging dozens of Muslims countries into one world power.

In his 27 years of observing, studying, and monitoring the conflict of ideas and the clash of ideologies, he has witnessed the changing of arguments used by various parties in pursuant of its ideologies.

Often, both democracies and jihadists moderate their idealism, make concessions on principles, depart from their ideals, and postpone their end games while finding rationales for these deflections.

What is so interesting in this book is that he describes in detail the intellectual and other forces –the big picture—behind the ongoing world conflict. I want to find out his findings of this “great chess game”; 1) what are the aims of the jihadists and their allies and how do they intend to reach them. 2) How do they want their enemies to think, and are their strategies working? Also, with my own little knowledge about Jihadism and Democracy, I want to find out of there are sort of biases in exploring the concepts.

The goal is limited to the warfare of minds. Its objective is to open the eyes of the reader to the logic behind these ideas and their influence on the ongoing world conflict between jihadism and democracy.

bonding with ashley and asnia-20-05-10

2010-05-21T19:12:00.006+08:00

perfect timing for us to have bonding amongst the three of us!

there is s.thing that binds us! not to mention...I and Asnia, Asnia and Ashley, and Ashley and I...

Other T-gurls are missing, Yasmin, Ashmalyn and Asmia...

i had enough fun i would say..but later onwards, My Bad mood popped up coz of the thing i saw!!!

My pix show fake my smile is. . . and i hate it!.

what i am....

2010-05-20T11:50:00.005+08:00

no words can explain what im feeling right now...

but I am happy right here, gight now...diffenitly happy!! set aside first unanticipated moments who dont choose to be SAD...but i relatively achieved PEACE of MIND...

i go to bed happy...
I wake up in the morning happy....
no trace of PAINS and ANGER to anyone!! at least not to Anyone.... ALHAMDULILLAH

I just continue praying for the betterment of the situation.=)

best song for me now according to my friend...STRONGER WOMAN by JEWEL...

AFTER A HECTIC SKED!!

2010-05-15T20:19:00.001+08:00

I’ve been so tied up since the 9th of May. I was in Bacolod Grande for two days. I went there on the 9th for PCOS testing and sealing. It took us whole day to finally go into the operation. The testing was a failure because all machines were failed to function except only for two. The operation was thorough almost night so had to stay there until the day of election. The following day was another hectic like I had to be at the polling area until the election time is adjourned. well, expect the expected usual electoral scenario. I need not to emphasize it.

I wanna set aside the electoral issue coz a lot frustrating for me. I wanna bury it somewhere right now. What appeals to be remarkable and momentous for me now are the happenings and scenarios in the capitol gym. I first landed in capitol the day after election then we made an entry at capitol gym. The scenario and arrangement were different cause it is now automated. In addition to that, its my first time to function as legal assistant not a watcher the way I used to be before.

There are many unexpected moments that took place. there are friends there that I met. though the process of consolidating and canvassing of votes was so damn slow like it took us for days for me to wait till the canvassing is done and reached home late at night 12:00 am but I really enjoyed it. It’s tiring yet it is kinda entertaining for us with my friends. (need not mention the scenes anyway), I had time to chit-chat with friends, come here and go there. sit here and stand there. laugh here and??? I am not kidding…CRY there !! im serious

Its unforgettable for me to the extent that I had a chance of getting closer with my colleagues (NP-UMMAH paralegals). I had a chance of having a heart to heart talk with my friends like asnia, a T-gurl friend whom I did not have a chance of taking time to talk that serious and dramatic when we were in MSU and Mahar, a high school batch mate and now got a time to talk with some realizations and lessons. Thanks to them. sadly, almost all municipalities are done including my area of assignment and only few are left out so, I may not see other friends in this kind of scenatrio. Not to forget the when I insisted to enter at the PCOS level and heard voice behind me echoed with insinuation and sarcasm saying “Atty”. and “MAHANGIN”…..I don’t mind them, there are people who just do not have proper breeding anyway.

While I was sitting at the bleachers with my colleagues including asnia as well, I was taking a look at the people entire the gym. the moment I feel that they are getting fewer and fewer, the more I feel sad cause I feel like the event draws closer to an end. Its like taking me to another dimension.

that’s all for now…my mind now is sooooo sooo preoccupied!! …JUST FEEL LIKE TO UNWIND after a hectic sked.

I WILL VOTE FOR WHOM?

2010-05-08T09:33:00.006+08:00

All candidates I wil vote are not driven by outside influence. They are according to my own jusdgement and choice. One VOTE counts. One Vote can deliver a change. A change that ive been crying to witness. Im not really following the Filipino politics not even into fillipino news but my stance is according to my observation.

PRESIDENT: I go for ORANGE. Senator Manny Villar. I’ve been idolizing him since then. He exudes the quality of good leadership that Philippines now need. His advocacy is the deliverance of Philippines from POVERTY. Well, doing that so is not an overnight process but an overtime process. He may not bring the Phil out of poverty but atleast to some extent, He gives more emphasis on it and put it on his prime priorities. Senator NOYNOY maybe leading according to survey but its not absolute. NOYNOY for me doesn’t appeal strong leadership. According to his political ad, he will continue the LEGACY of his father. What was his father’s advocacy? The restoring of DEMOCRACY. Phlil now is fully democratized though a crooked. So no need to cry for continuing for his father’s legacy. For GIBO, he was endorsed by GMA and definitely being maneuvered and manipulated by Pres. GMA.

VICE PRES.: MY bet was LOREN. But since I said YES to ate MITCH. I Will vote for BINAY. His good leadership is evident during his Mayorship in MAKATI CITY.
SENATOR: I m not really sure of Who are 12 senators I should vote for. But I definitely go for Muslim candidates. However, Im having a second thought on ADEL TAMANO. I don’t see if he is taking pride his Origin ; as MUSLIM as a MERANAW. He is set aside first.

GOVERNOR: that is tooooooooooooo SENSITIVE
VICE GOVERNOR: I absolutely go for AMMO ABU MOHAMMAD SARANNGANI. Not because he is my BABA’s bestrfriend and a pres. of MRAKSZOSSHABANB but long story to tell. Its been more than a decade that he's been contesting for gubernatorial candidacy just for the betterment of LANAO and MULIMS. I know that.

CONGRESSMAN: My bet is JUN MACARAMBON. When he was at the congress, he had rendered uncountable OMPIYA. Even though he is not a lawyer, but he is better than other candidates.

BOARDMEMBER: 1.Abu tasnimah: An original SABAB. I admire him. A Humble alim=)
2. Lacsa Ibrahim: A relative, A pioneering batch of SABAB during my BABA’s time. Same path they are taking Abu tasnina and Ammo Abu MOhd

MAYOR: I go for Sammy. and though some relatives go for incumbent because he helped to decrease the rido in BG but did not meet him personally. For Sammy, I met him personally last 3 days during NP training watchers. HE was kind. So far nobody warned me of not voting him because he is so and so. It was funny when he called ATTY. twice . HE thought I am a law graduate.haha!! I had to look straight into his eyes to make sure that he was referring to me. Calling me ATTY.=)

VICE MAYOR: EMAN AMANODIN. A relative. I don’t support woman leadership 100% but its only a vice mauyor so I will vote her. She was also very kind. She can still remember me as RABHEA though I cant really recognize her that much. Well, that’s due to my lacking awareness of my relatives. Also, she invited to come over to her house during the training but no time to come ever. Very Hospitable.

COUNCILORS: My one and only UNCLE in my maternal side. AMMO MADS. I hope he will make it this time around. He wasnt able to re-elect last 2007 election bacuase our energy drained to vice-gobernatorial and congress. and ofcourse my aunts HUSBAND Tamim.

That’s for now. The rest is still undecided.
There are other candidates I know very well even friends to me. But its my responsibility to vote whom I think is qualified.
According to fatwa issued by ULAMA, we should not cast out vote to somebody who are DRUNKARD and WOMANIZERS (not within legality). Those fall under SABA’ATO MAUBIQAT (Seven greatest sins)

I think I know some of them. I have seen it my two eyes. and for other candidates, just a mere hearsay.

There are two kinds if sinner: the one that commit sins privately because he/she is somewhat shamed of what is being committed. The other one is who commit sins publicly and being so proud of what is being committed which is worst.

Its also committing sins in supporting candidates who will rule your society and have its likelihood of tolerating acts that they are engaged in.WANAUBUBILLAH.

TIED UP....

2010-05-06T16:47:00.004+08:00

been busy..

YESTERDAY: i was in BG. There was a training for NP watchers. I had to be there since i am the paralegal of UMMAH PARTY.

TODAY: WE had an urgent final meeting at 7am in UMMAH PARTY headquarter. Final meeting before deployment. then later to WAMY meeting. now surfing the net then recieved an email that ive been waiting....SABAR!! i did not make it...when they called me up, they have chosen 2 filipino applicants then will choose between the 2. but they decided to give the slot to other fil applicant coz he/she did not have a chance to travel abroad before..gusto kong umiyak!!...

TOMMORROW: ill be going back to BG for PCOS testing and sealing.....

MY MOOD TODAY:....GUSTONG UMIYAK!!!!.......D akn ktawan i plano rakn o ALLAH!! confused na ako sa mga pangyayari....SABAR!!!......d akn den KAHTEKAD tuna i HIKMAH saya o ALLAH!! PROMISE.........IBT den aya............

LYRICS FOR TODAY:

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I'm far away
I'll whisper your name
Into the sky
And I will wake up happy
I wonder why

ewan!! i just thought of this song when i woke up this morning....

ON MIND: gusto kong pmunta sa lugar where i can find myself..without outside interference. no pressures.

what's on my mind?

2010-05-04T22:19:00.009+08:00

it turning 10:30 now in the evening....feels like wanna do something or wanna write something...but i dunno which is which!!...MAYBE many thoughts flooded into my head and couldn't turn them into concrete and crystal clear vision.....

better to write them down to clear up my head:

1. i've been thinking of writing politically motivated write-up. i want to stay abreast to my field...but until now i have not done it yet. when i got the nerve to write, something strikes up unexpectedly...I have time now but no mood to crack up my head..My mind is not clear..

2. i miss academic life...i miss IIUM...i kmiss the campus..i miss the refreshing environment...i miss my friends....i miss living independently..i miss my PG room....i miss the path i used to take going to campus and back to Mahallah....

3. i miss the fence...though been long time!! but it symbolizes something for me...and it means a lot to me (long story to tell)...i miss the chemistry...and everything!!...i miss the drama effect to the ma..i miss..i miss,,and i miss......=)

4. i feel a lil guilty coz i have not given my 100% efforts in UMMAH PARTY's activities...i think its because, i was not 100% convinced...and maybe because...madakl a mushkila na pkarambit yan so galbk tah...na pkhakonsenxa tah!! ALLAH knows na mapiya so niat akn!!....

5. its 6 days before election...and the verdict is on the corner!! ...i'll be busy in coming few days...performing my responsibility as paralegal makes me worry...I Hope ill be responsible to it...huhu!! inshALLAH...

6. I PRAY THAT AMMO ABU MOHAMMAD WILL MAKE IT THIS TIME ARROUND....diyokawan so pagtao ko paninindeg ko agama na siyap ko inged...i've been witnessing the series of elections, i witness the LOYALTY of the people of MARKAS...i witness their concerted efforts to win,,,the Members of MARKAS alhmdulillah are not after of selfish interest but for the betterment of LANAO....although there are some exceptions....HAIL and PRAISES to them for untiring support and pure intentions!! Panenta ko ALLAH a aya mkataban na so miphagogopa ko kpiyaan o inged..either AMMO ABI|U HAMMAD or SOLI..i go for less negative repercussions..

7. Gusto kong magbalik sa dati ko,,,na laging JOVIAL...i can be actually!! pero lagi n lng nwawala ko ngaun sa good mood...YA ALLAH bring it back!!...

8. Wanna include that i reminisce recently:
* I miss the fascinating view of BOHOL; the loboc river. Subhanalla, I love the cruising along the river. there was a HARANA (serenade). The musician was playing his GUITAR while we were cruising and all of us were singing. and i remember that i was sitting at the edge of the boat made of wood. my feet almost touched the river. wOW!!...I LOVE those moments...
*I miss Bohol plaza. we slept in the room where its overlooking the sea...I craved to see the sunrise but my friend unfortunately did not wake me up..too bad!!....

*I miss the BYWALK in manila. We used to go there after office time since its not too far form DFA...we loved to view the Sunset. the funny thing is, you almost seea couples but we wnet there only four of us (ALL LADIES; I, Ashley, Ashmalyn and Yasmin), no partner.!!..we didnt drag other friends cos we had different trip. also, the four of us were staing in the same condo. interestingly, There is one thing so significant. four of us made a vow that we will bring our partner their one day...inshALLAH!! funny...haha

9. I miss childhood...during those days i can sing whenever i want to. i joined the competion in madrasah and we always won. we were also oftentimes asked to perform in moltaqa...nanaw!! i love the way people loved it ...i miss standing in front of the crowd. I remeber at OMOMA days and all of the students have memorized our song. they were following us while singing..it felt so overwhelming.

10. I wish i will receive a good news tomorrow insha ALLAH or within this week. cross my finger.ALLAHUMMA AMEEN!

11. last but not the least:..............................ipkhadali akn boh....PYUR!! (Supah Dupah)...i wish i wont end up with rage!! sana na matago rakn so paratiyaya lalayon. QADR and QADA are part of faith..i hope i can stick with it....

*FIRST PICTURE:baywalk during sunset..
*2nd PICTURE: chocolate hills
*3rd PICTURE: loboc river cruising
*4th PICTURE:the view of Bohol plaza.

FOUR SEASONS OF WHAT?

2010-05-03T16:11:00.006+08:00

....its may be 5 years back the last time when we had my singing trip the way we used to during MSU days with my undergrad friends!

reason? sort of lie low .though i miss this stuff with 'em...but this time around i gave in to their request...and kinda steps away from MUSIC, coz dont want to get carried away....coz i easily get carried away!!....HATE it sometimes....

I tried it to sing this upon request of Ashley!! nwe, and i miss singing senti...what used to sing with JUMPERS back in MALAYSIA was GROOVY type and kinda HIPPY one...

the last i sang this was,i was just singing the LYRICS!!....NOW: i AM IN the LYRICS and it feels so good man!! WHeeeewwww...

My all time favorite with ashley..remember the time when I and Ashley were in SM megamall (2004 practicum). our world suddenly stops revolving upon hearing it..sounds exaggerating!!=)

but really!!.....

LOVE BOYZ 2 MEN..same as BRANDY!! ever

I Think God Can Explain

2010-05-01T17:07:00.007+08:00

By SPLENDER

There's a lot of things I understand
And there's a lot of things that I don't want to know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you to look me in the eyes

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it, yeah

The scent of vaseline in the summertime
The feel of an ice cube melting over time
The world seems bigger than both of us
Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it, yeah

I'm so much better than you guessed
I'm so much bigger than you guessed
I'm so much brighter than you guessed

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get off of your back

I think God can explain, I think God can explain
I think God can explain

25-04-2010!! finally...precious day

2010-04-28T16:41:00.009+08:00

never she told you how she misses you
never she expressed how she loves you

her eyes spoke of itself
her stare conveyed the joy and pain of seeing you

millisecond ticked so slow
in a moment she did not expect

it was a stolen moment
but it is indeed recurring on her mind...

Excerpt from somewhere

*the pictures above were captured in my beloved Hometown Bacolod Grande!!
*that is the lake where we used to swim with my cousins and back to Marawi City with sun burnt complexion!!haha...soo fascinating!!
*again, they are taken by MObile phone
*MY DAY!! i must say...^^

RECEIVED AT LAST......tnx to them!!

2010-04-21T16:34:00.002+08:00

ALHMDULILLAH….finally I have received the HARD COPY of my thesis…
Million tnx to HANNA for completing all the requirements on my behalf. The hard bound copy reached me with complete signatures! BRAVO…Million tnx goes also to the person who brought it all the way from Malaysia to our house in disville…=)

BELOW IS THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT PF MY AKNOWOLEDGEMENT

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Completing this work would not be possible without the contribution of certain individuals. However, I would like to express my utmost gratitude to almighty Allah for He is the ultimate source of everything to strengthen and guide us. Secondly, to my family who exhibited untiring and unconditional support, my mother Sahirah H. Isa, the wind beneath my wings, my brother Nabil and his wife Zamalia, my sister Najiba and her husband Musanif and my sister Nasibah and her husband Salahuddin.

My thesis writing would have not been smooth and accomplished without the diplomatic approach and supervision of my supervisor Dr. Tunku Mohar B Tunku Mohd Mokhtar and of course other respected political science lecturers, Prof. Dr. Abdul Rashid Moten, who displayed much needed support when I was in a dilemma in pursuing my proposal, Assoc. Dr. El-Fatih A. Abdel Salam, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Ishtiaq Hossain, who gave me constructive criticism on my proposal, Sister Norhaslinda Bt Jamaiudin for some enlightenment and advice and our Head of Department Assoc. Prof. Wahabuddin Ra’ees, who always encourages us to speed up our writing.

The moral support of my beloved friends was indeed very encouraging in times of turbulence in pursuing this quest; Wardah Guimba who patiently read my drafts, Hafeza Mohtar, Shahidah Abdul Razak, Azila Ayob for their encouraging words and other supporting colleagues such as Zunnurain, Abdulrahman, Ni-nusra and Fatima. Of course to Marjanie Macasalong who never failed to remind me to concentrate on my writing, Kuya Anwar, Hana and all my Filipino community friends here who somehow relieved my stress from writing.

Last but not the least, the help of important individuals without whom this work would not be completed such as Aleem Abdul Malik Laguindab, Col. Alex Ambor and Atty Abdussamad Alawi who provided me with supplemental information, Waidah Bacaraman Rascal a resourceful secretary who furnished me data and other important documents I needed, and of course other important contributors: Daud Romoros Lala, Aleem Lacsa Ibrahim Cali, Engr. Omar Macarimbang and Dr. Ali Panda. Others individuals who extended their selfless help were: Normia Salindal and James Cayamodin. Without all these significant individuals, my work could not be successfully completed. My humble and utmost gratitude to all of you.

away from stress and pollution!! Uyaan escapade!!

2010-04-13T19:04:00.008+08:00

i went to Uyaan last Sunday 11 April 2010..

Gee,the view was fabulous, so refreshing, soothing and calming...it was my second visit there but it was last 2001...I LOVE IT!! away from pollution and stress..

wish i would have brought a digi-cam but still managed to capture poses with bubbly buddy ever ashley and samila using CP...wheeww!!

anyway, we went not to unwind and feel the rhythm of the calming breeze but the purpose of joining the Political grand rally of Ummah-Ompia coalition!! but we took advantage..chheeeers!!

PRAISES TO ALLAH..issued at last..APRIL 6 2010

2010-04-13T18:57:00.002+08:00

“Pen is mightier than swords”. Familiar phrase, huh? It is maybe conventional yet it is very factual and bears significant impact. I now recall the saying “Voice echoes through the wall, but Writing echoes through a century. Needless to say, Writing is my enthusiasm. All thoughts that have nestled on my head may not come out from my mouth but maybe in writing.

Ever since then, it was a dream to me to create a publication, journal or any of these sorts specifically in Lanao del Sur. I wanted to be a contributor or even an initiator. Alhamdulillah, I took the opportunity of being attached to Ummah Party and proposed the idea of making one. Fortunately, when we submitted the Proposal to the legislative council (Majlis tanfidhi), they praised and supported the idea. Later onwards we’ve worked on it.

Well, I would admit that we are lacking of man power due to the fact that this was not planned in advance and everything was a sudden decision. We had to start from the scratch and strived to encourage others to contribute to our publication. I would also admit that this is premature as it is its first phase.

It delighted me upon receiving positive comments from the seniors. I expected some unacceptable criticisms. in every work, it needs critique/criticism. Yet, professionally speaking, constructive criticism is what is needed to develop a positive outcome. Realistically, you expect some people who would destructively criticize your work intentionally and intentionally. But destructive one makes the criticized person defensive instead of welcoming the comments. She would defend her work of being criticized and not admitting the unhealthy comments. So it will not contribute to the betterment of the task or job. But anyway, I need to get used to this kind of ambience surrounded with criticizers coupled with raised eye-brows or even some objection or arguments.

I would opine that in this world there are “always” two kinds of everything; positive or negative one. In every work done is entrenched with always two motives and this is applied to criticism or argument you may encounter. This either for the sake of argument or for the sake of contributing for better. but it is soo disappointing that people often argue to find loopholes in the knowledge of the criticized and show off in the case of the criticizer.

Isn’t this evident in a real world scenario particularly in the Muslim world? Muslim intellectuals are engaged in intellectual discourses; but what is uttered from the mouth is not manifested in action. Another reminder for me. Oooppsss!! I’m now digressing…

Well, the most important for me now is that…..WHAT WAS A THOUGHT IS A REALITY NOW!! Alhmdulillah…hope this will be continous…Insha ALLAH=)

THE REALITIES and LESSON OF LIFE i should embrace..and JUST REALIZEd!

2010-04-04T15:49:00.014+08:00

These are the lessons I've learned,I should keep reminding myself with them to stay connected with others!!=)

*LIFE is a battlefield.You fight for your rights, existence and survival. You strive to win it, if not, then try not to lose it. Keep rising after stumbles.

*expect the unexpected. Along the journey of life, challenges await you. They are maybe in the form of events, Persons etc. Equip yourself to deal with them.

*You are not PERFECT. but exert efforts to lead to almost perfection.

*GROWING UP doesn't come with age. But it comes with wisdom. Growing up in its truest sense is acknowledging your BEST, admitting your FLAWS, and CORRECTING your mistakes.

*ALL PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. STAND to be corrected but BE firm with your PRINCIPLES and STAY UNDEFEATED.

*When you do something righteous, Expect objections and Raised eye-brows.DON'T get succumbed by them.

*TRIALS, PROBLEMS are integral part of this JOURNEY. YOU maybe get affected by them. BUT dont stay in that ZONE. Get out from it. In every PROBLEM, there is a solution. THE solution lies within you. Its about how you Look at it. DISPOSITION and MINDSET matter most.

*REMEMBER that ALLAH is always WITH the ones who always seek HIM. Don't find Him only through troubled moments but also during Blissful moments. THANK HIM ALWAYS.

*Always open your Door for possibilities. Don't engender a RIGID judgment. Everything is not absolute. YET, accept the facts ALLAH knows all the unseen while you don't. Pray for the BEST.

*There is TIME you feel there is no one to TURN to. But the TRUTH is that's a whisper of SATAN. Indeed, they are PEOPLE with FULL of SINCERITY (you are BLESSED to have them in your life). on the other token, there are PEOPLE with full of HYPOCRISIES. beware of their SUPERFICIAL friendships.

*BE shrewd to counter PSYCHOLOGICAL ATTACKS. there are people who are cunning of using it. To counter it, doesn't necessitate to do same but to STAND FIRM, ignoring them, HAVING PEACE of MIND.

*DON'T JOCKEY and engage yourself with nonsensical stuff. When you do, YOU DONT MAKE SENSE too..BUT TRY to be HUMOROUS at the same. SMILES and LAUGHS are medicines. PEOPLE love to be around with these type of persons!! it feels good to make people laughed.=)

*Learn WISDOM and LESSONS from others even those who are below you, younger than you or less educated than you.

*LEARN TO SAY SORRY to those who deserve it.

*Do not act upon your EMOTION and IMPULSE. You may regret later

*ALWAYS CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY...

response to JEWISH SETTLEMENT in east Jerusalem: A condemnation not a Sanction?

2010-03-29T21:28:00.005+08:00

Amidst Biden's visit in Israel on the 10th of March 2010, the Interior Minister of Israel unveiled its plan of 16,000 housing units in east Jerusalem. The move was seen as an insult to the US VP Biden. Following that move, Biden condemned such and act. Eventually, US secretary clinton remarked that this is an insulting act and marred a strained of US-ISRAELI relations.

The announcement of new Jewish settlement gives us a vivid and concrete Judgment on what level of the Israeli commitment on Quartet plan/peace talks with Palestinians. It is a very clear evidence of the breach of International law on the ground of illegal settlement. This according to PM Mahmoud Abbas, is a form of Ethnic cleansing and could lead to war. In a long run, We will witness a majority Jews and minority Arab East Jerusalem.

what we've been witnessing now is a condemnation response. If the US and its allies are committed to the peace process in the middle east with faith, sanction is what is needed to halt the illegal settlement in the Palestinian land.

On the other hand, Arab league has a pivotal role in pressuring the Israel. There are Arab countries like that of Egypt, Syria that have a close relations with Israel. Its time for the Arab to unite to curtail the expansion of the Jewish Settlement. The Arab league should strive to reach a political clout among themselves to take collective action to counter it. This can be a form of military boycott according to Atty. Franklin Lamb. Moreover, legal actions can also be executed to sanction Israel as this act constitutes a hard evidence of the violation of International law.

PM Mahmoud Abbas withdrew any indirect peace talks with Israel. This could delay further the peace process, so in the meantime Israeli government can further and continue its plan. If no immediate actions to curb it, a war is near possibility.

A LAYMAN STANCE...???

2010-03-23T08:14:00.009+08:00

I am Political Science students by academic background and by Choice. I am Political analyst by aspiration and in process. but it doesn't connote that i can be a good politician. People mistakenly think that a political science student is equivalent to a politician.

Political Science students as far as my knowledge is concerned study the behavior of political player, situation, event etc. They opine their view or describe on how they look at events, behaviour and how things happened. The situational correlation is our task to describe. They can play the Game but it is rather not to be in the Game and assume the role as observers and spectators.

Politics for me is what Interests me most. I like to anticipate the events and what will happen next. I dont want to be a mere observer. I want to observe so that i can anticipate what worst come into the screen then prevent it for better.

However, Politics in the Philippines especially in my Place is the things that I AM SOO SICK OF...The 2010 election is coming and expect the scenario. Demagogic politicians start to pour in your head with rhetorical speech that has been heard since time immemorial. They fill in the Masses' pocket just momentarily. But the rest of three-term is left to their own avarice. Its the turn own pocket will poured in that is supposed to go the public needs.

in this 2010 election, It suffices to say that there are wanna be leaders that have unwavering principles and noble ideas. I salute them for what they stand and what they fight for.

BUT i would say that given with unquestionable principles and magnanimous ideas, you cannot put them into action at anytime. You have to think first of the situation, environment and time. These are contributing factors for a better outcome of the political aim. If not consider them, those Grand plans are doomed to failure. it will be a dismay at the end. Unified decision, collective actions, long-range plan are catalysts for victory not a divided stance and clinging in to Pride.

Whatever i support now implicitly and explicitly, its for saving the grand aims. for the interest of many not for the interest of FEW

BLISS IN MELANCHOLY

2010-03-18T19:02:00.001+08:00

Its now my twenty one days here in Marawi and everything back in my IIUM campus is still vivid on my mind. My life here is a lot different from my campus life. This is a life that is too much detached from academic. It turns now to be so nostalgic. when I was in campus, almost everything was easy. Student life in IIUM was almost spoon-fed. Internet access was offered to us 24 hour with favorable speed. University library was just few minutes walking distance away from Mahallah. Seeking knowledge was a less-difficulties scenario. Then when you got penny, hitting the town was a releasing stress/boredom solution either with friends or alone depending on your convenience.

but now? I fell into the opposite scenario. I miss my campus life, Student life and everything. However, I need to make an adjustment. The most precious part is I am with my family. I am safely sheltered literally and technically to some extent.

I would be in denial if I say I am emotionally upright in its totality. I am surely not emotionally unstable. yet, I am happy because I am physically and intentionally involved for something that I know for GOOD CAUSE. I am happy because what I am doing right now is not solely for my interest but for interests of many. When I say “not SOLELY” mean it is partly inline with my self-interest because I FEEL HAPPY by doing it. and I get more inclined of doing it. When you got plain or pure intention, your second thought and reluctance will eventually be diminished. Even though frankly speaking, I am against to it in the very first place. but since I am not doing it for a selfish pursuit, I got the nerve and enthusiasm of doing it.

I am now happy with what I am doing and happy the people I work with. I got to know more exquintance, more exploration, more experience. and this is all for my fellow muslims in Lanao del Sur in seeking Allah’s pleasure.

Amidst of this, at the end of the day the Melancholic side of me begins to emerge. Alhmdulillah… I find happiness and bliss with what I am doing right now…
=)

I definitely miss these...and will always

2010-03-04T13:50:00.002+08:00

MAHALLAH MATES:

ask me where i get more acquintance? it is in Mahallah...my soulmate neighbor "UCI" who used to ask me about her beautiful outfit if it suits her,,,and used to tease and sometimes chased each other. My "mamwarding"..aww its been a long time that we haven't had heart to heart talk and lay down all analysis on whatever under the sun. my other mahallah mates like YAN who always saved me from being shortage of celcom prepaid ...and the rest who i usually bump into in ablution and washing area. kak GITA, JANNA. MASHITA,NANI,,,,other mahallah fellas like Kak IMON and her Indonesian frends..

CLASSMATES:

nothing compares to my MHSPSC class...would you expect a thirty or more students in one MA class?? ...the last 2 minutes preparation for presentation, the assembly at the PG lab,,the bonding moments at restuarants (off the campus) after class, the encounters at HS canteen and many more to mention.

FILIPINO FELLAS:

oh well,,my fellas my fellas....oh i love them...they can always unearth my childishness especially when im with my lil bros. MADYAL, kuya TEKOO, KHAN, KENJO,,,im aint gonna forget thier HARANA (serenade) moment with me at the grand staircase....and the rest of the BRos...

TATIE, who always saved me from my clumsiness!! oooppsss!!! did i say that?? yep,,,my clumsiness. Who witnessed me my calm and troubled moments....hehe!! i loved to tease her when bad mood struck up and it delighted me to see her laugging at my corny jokes???:DD

NEY, the last woman standing amongst my meranaw fellas...i called her HONEY when we had our UMMATIC performance and she was my partner...so that started our endearment "NEY"...

AISHI, mmmm....it didnt cross to my mind that i would be closer to this wacky aishi...she is my MARMURING...i miss the MARMURING moments with her...the giggle, laughter and hmmm even tears,right?

the rest of my fellas: OLFA, MAMJHE (tnx for everthing), te JOE ( bonding in thier house), te DADANG, te TAJ, NORJ, and many more....

THE CURVE----THE JUMPERS--
i mentioned first the CURVE, coz that's the first place where we (the JUMPERS) landed before its was coined by DR.DAN. the freedom movement at the RED BOX...i always long for the RB get together,,,suffice it to say, FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION!!.

THE DRIVING TRIP, the SUSHI, and the MADNESS with fie

whenever fie knocked on my door, i would know what's gonna happen....giggled in my room, suddenly felt the empty tummy, drove to sushi...and???? argued where to lead?? then, suddenly found ourselves heading to NOWHERE. the madness in the car, the times of silence (being carried away) and later, noise!! not to forget the city lights...

THE SHAH MOSQUE

its friday and i have to wear JUBAH (our fellas traditon)...gotta go to the mosque, listen to the KHUTBAH and meet some friends,,,,that's my FRIDAY ROUTINE,,,,

COM-CENT

i, we call it COM-CENT,....when ask where to meet?...at the COMCENT is the answer.....sit at the square bench. get entertained by the varieties of the passers-by.

HS CANTEEN

the encounters with friends, lecturers, classmates, the long conversation while taking the meals, the long-wait for Order and available seats especially during lunch hour.

MY THESIS WRITING STRESS

i would rather not to lay down all the details as it is the most crucial part of my MA life.....ALHMDULILLAH!! now im thorough...

~~~the REST IS A "HISTORY

HISTORIANS KNOW IT...winx winx

REKINDLE.....

2010-02-11T13:48:00.004+08:00

its undeniable that it is in our inherent nature as Human Beings that we busy ourselves to something nonsensical things; we immune ourselves listening to heart hardening talk (gossip, Backbite), music, movies,oopps!! not to forget SWEARING and SAYING foul language (etc). only to realize it that when we look within...emptiness is what you see..

there are people who keep questioning and even complaining that there is something lacking in their life and keep finding something or looking for someone to fill in and pour in that Hole. Still, they catch themselves longing and craving for something. also, they will find themselves that the happiness they've been looking for is hard to catch.

only few people realize that what really missing link in their lives are their "CREATOR"....how we often revisit our HEART and SOUL, evaluate how much we have faith in Him...but the fact is we saturate ourselves to lavish lifestyle and almost totally abandoning our proximity to Him...

so the result is the Heart is Hardened. it is likened to a stone that eventually immobilize us to do remembering him, praying to him, and perform other obligation...

then our life is not governed by HIS commands...

THATS WHY WE LOSE OUR GOOD MANNERS.....WE ARE ONLY IN OUR PURSUIT OF OUR OWN AVARICE and CAPRICE.....

keep revisiting our heart and rekindle our faith...

HARBOR IT or RELEASE IT

2010-01-26T23:55:00.003+08:00

it is hypocratic to say that i do not have loathing to someone....and even more hypocratic to deny that i do not have hurt-feeling to someone...if i just harbor them and wasting my time thinking of those people, events that caused turmoil in my life, i would not be able to wake up in the morning smiling and grateful to what i have....i would not be able to appreciate what i have...i would not be able to share my blessings and share those blessings with my beloved...

needless to say that you always find refuge yet, sadness always finds you and shelving sadness generates hatred,then you consequently cath yourself loathing and hating someone...

i do not give a danm,,,,INDEED,there are people i hate to see coz they are for me likened to a VIRUS,,,but seeing them wo'nt spread thier virus in me...i calculate them as INSIGNIFICANT and not a hassle to live out my life as happy as i am....

LET THEM BE....but if time comes for rebound,,,they will see,,,,

implicit to explicit

2010-01-24T11:25:00.004+08:00

how could I deny this?
since it brings happiness.
how can I delete it,
since it keeps persisting…

thinking of it, means a thousand words
having it, is such a blessing I must say
expressing it begets hurdles
cherishing it is all I could do

opting to the heavenly side is my choice, coz
thinking of the reality engenders remorse and agony…

all I pray is for Allah to make this quagmire unravel
to make the bliss shared
to make implicit into explicit
and make ideals to reality

AMA's cherished memories

2009-12-14T12:56:00.002+08:00

At 1 PM sharp,Saturday,12/12/09 I received a message from Ommi saying that our Ama H. isa just passed away and make sabr for his loss. Upon receiving the message, it silenced me and world seemed to be paused from revolving in moments. I could not believe what I just found out and even re-read my message to confirm my disbelief. In the moment of silence, memories with him flashed back and burst out into tears.

Ama was almost a hundred years of age. his death is not a shock as it is anticipated but his memories that he has left made me mournful, not only me but almost all the people who have love Ama. I am very proud of him. He was well-respected, he was a father figure, he was a leader in my Hometown, Bacolod Grande. He was the Imam of the one of the most beautiful mosque in Lanao del sur.

when I was in my teen years, I had no problem in introducing my name to all folks in BG every time I went there after disclosing to them that I am Ama’s grand daughter. I better had to tell that I am my grandfather's grand daughter than saying I am Nadhera or Rabhea.

My last cherished moments with Ama was in November-December of 2008. We cherished and enjoyed every bonding with him. He was in our house for medication on those days. Everytime he started to talk, we all had the enthusiasm to listen to his speech, we gathered, we all laughed at it and even emtionally moved by it.

In the last years of his life, Ama almost lost his memory, he tended to forget names and even forgot who are his children. whenever I was on vacation, He would ask me who I was, who were my parents, then there is one sure answer for him to recognize me. I would just simply say, I was the one who missed my flight because I slept at the airport. I had to keep repeating the same answer once he asked me who I was. One time on my 2008 vacation, he asked me the same question, I answered the same answer then he immediately said: “YOU ARE RABHEA, why did you miss your flight? He asked again, “How much money you bought for ur ticket?, I said: its nine thousand pesos, He replied: It is almost a hundred thousand, you should have given it to me. That was the very delicate conversation between me and Ama.

Ama like I said almost could not recognize everyone even his own offspring. One time my mother went inside his room to feed him, he asked Omi who she was, then Omi said: I am sahirah. Ama still could not recognize Omi. Then asked a following question to omi: “you are AMINA’s daughter? watta funny question, AMINA is my mother’s younger sister.

On different token, there are people who lasted and were tattooed on Ama’s mind and heart. One of them was my late father. One time I was so moved by him. My Baba was mentioned and he cried outrightly. He said how my Baba was like while tears streaming down on his face. but another funny thing was he did not mention and not well aware that Baba was my Omi’s husband.

Losing him doesn’t beget his total extinction. He left us memories; he left us legacy, he taught us lifetime lessons. There are two things I’ve learned from Ama that I will keep them inshaAlla for the rest of my life. firstly, يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنتُم مُّسۡلِمُونَ (١٠٢) : O you who believe! Fear Allâh (by doing all that He has ordered and by abstaining from all that He has forbidden) as He should be feared. [Obey Him, be thankful to Him, and remember Him always], and die not except in a state of Islâm [as Muslims (with complete submission to Allâh). He said this to us on his session with us in June 2008 inculcating to die as muslims and not abandoning our religion. The second was during our family gathering in the year of 2005, the year when I came here in Malaysia. He said to all of us, his children, grandchildren, grand grand children. He said ”It doesn’t matter if we don’t possess abundant wealth, what matters for me my children was you help one another. Don’t abandon your sister, your brother, your relatives in times of dire need. that’s only I can leave to you my children before I die. I was really crying that time he giving us his speech in front of us.

ARROGANCE..BRAGGART

2009-11-21T17:56:00.001+08:00

walking along the hallway, a feeling of excitement ran through my vein. then series of thoughts clouded my thoughts, now you are gonna be a certified Master degree holder, then you should proud of that…Gee!! watta achievement…..but NOH!! why do I feel this way..is it the feeling of excessive excitement with a sheer of arrogance!!..wanaubdhubillah!!..

when I was on the verge of almost giving up and courage almost lost its way. then when I returned to Creator and begged and sought His guidance and help… He answered my prayer. He never led me astray after all those harsh and rocky roads I was walking through….

watta shame!!...braggart, arrogance, show-off, pride…all these are shameful to ALLAH….after He is the ultimate source whatever we achieve in life…

Indeed, the compensation to all of this is to fulfill our responsibility as a slave of HIM…

OH ALLAH…always show me the way…. give me light when I slip into the deceptive realm of darkness…

A WRATH FROM ALLAH

2009-11-11T15:54:00.002+08:00

this is for friends who are befallen by lunatic and punitive acts by others….

in not very remote but very recent times, I have witnessed my eprienced that there are firiends who are beloved to me, faced with crisis done to them by nuisance people…well, me myself cannot deny the facr that I experienced it also.

these *nuisance* people are friends of FOUL LANGUAGE, think of themselves that they are above everybody else…well for me, there is only one answer “YOU ARE WHAT YOU SAY”…..and no doubt about it. these are the individuals who are afraid of losing the fair battle and they engage themselves in a very disgusting play and displaying no dignity to themselves.

there are collective measures can be carried out to tackle these issues, you bounce back for reprisals right away, keep silent and calculate how much damage can cause if you retaliate, or leave it to Allah and pray….

for me, there is no one could do justice for you in totality except for Allah. leave it silently to Allah, then you will be witnessing how justice will be done to you by Him. when you are being inflicted pains by others by intent, and you fully return to Him then expect a vengeance for you.

there are two things I can say for sure 1. they will be shaken and haunted by their conscience, and if they don’t have concscience at all 2. they will be stricken with stricken with catastrophic and tragic events…..Allah has promised that there is time for oppressed and oppressors…

So NO WORRIES AT ALL….ALLAH is always in the side of those who return to Him.

Writing my thoughts!!

2009-10-24T14:43:00.003+08:00

I want to write but can’t
my head is spinning around
my mind is flooded with thoughts
but cant streamline them down

The thoughts of thinking of what if and if and if??
The thoughts of vagueness of thoughts
The thoughts of the stillness of thoughts
The thoughts of the confusion of mind

The thoughts of shrinking of the heart
The thoughts of remembering the memories
The thoughts of lingering yesterday
The thoughts of what is the next step

INDEFFERENT ME….

2009-10-18T14:39:00.003+08:00

Allah’s wisdom is hard to fathom. There are events passed that turned into the maze. At times, it feels like standing at the crossroads and other times, feels like you do not know where this journey leads you.

There is a maxim says that “if you do not risk anything, you will risk everything”. Well, yah its true how would you know if a certain thing is will be yours if you won’t take a risk. Then when I take a risk, riddles, mazes, turbulence and confusion have laid at the doorsteps. They have led me in topsy-turvy world. There are people who were judgmental, throwing blame on me and being so insensitive sometimes.

These events left a profound effect on me. The thought of mine that pains will go away was just a thought. It still persists and I do not why. The people who’ve been judgmental disturbed me.

Then I just realized that why should I why drain my energy my time with these. It’s true that there is always Allah’s wisdom in every turn of event but we human being hardly dissect it. Because of these events, I opted to be indifferent because after all whatever Allah’s message will prevail in a right time. LET TIME DECIDE…